Surly's Soap Box

Five Million Dollars! What could I do with five million dollars? Better yet, what if I had five million to donate? To give away, to bless, to really make a difference.

Let's see...I could support an church planter who has immersed himself into an urban area that most people won't visit. I could support him for the 92 years. (He's trying to raise $4,500 a month for support.)

Given that, I could support 12 missionary church planters for the next 9 years! Or 24 for the next 4.5 years! Imagine the impact.

I could feed 62500 hungry children for a month.

Who knows how many disabled kids you could send to camp, or how many wheel chair ramps could be built, or how many help dogs could be trained. Actually, nearly 1700 help dogs could be trained with five million dollars.

Or I could piss it away on some church bells, ignoring the poor and needy with in hearing distance. (Type in the address and look at the demographics.)

Update:I want folks to know that my ire is raised up against the anonymous donor slightly more than the church. The donor failed to see a real need in the community, and the leadership of the church failed because they didn't point the donor in that direction.

Christianity

One of my favorite dishes is risotto. I have a particular way of making it that is hard to describe, but easy to demonstrate. Since I don't have web cast capabilities, I'll have to put up a recipe from the archives.




Risotto with Wild Mushrooms and Scallops

Extra-virgin olive oil
1 1/2 pounds sea scallops, crescent-shaped muscles removed and discarded (You can use those cheapy frozen ones from the local grocery store)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 onion, minced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 pound assorted mushrooms, such as Portobello, crimini, and shiitake, stemmed
Leaves from handful fresh thyme sprigs or a teaspoon of dried
2 tablespoons chopped fresh or dried flat-leaf parsley
2 bay leaves
2 cups Arborio rice
1 cup dry white wine, such as Pinot Grigio
8 cups canned chicken stock, heated ***No MSG*** Kitchen Basics or Swanson Natural
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano


Place a large, deep skillet over medium-high heat and drizzle with enough olive oil to coat bottom of pan. When the oil is hot, sprinkle the scallops with salt and pepper and brown well on both sides, about 2 minutes. Remove to a plate and cover to keep warm while you make the risotto.

Reduce the heat to medium. Drizzle a little more olive oil into the pan. Add the onion and garlic and cook, stirring, for 5 minutes until soft. Toss in the mushrooms and herbs and cook until the mushrooms lose their liquid and are lightly browned, about 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Add the rice and stir 2 minutes to coat with the oil; the grains will turn opaque. You ought to smell a 'grainy' smell as well. Season again. Stir in the wine and cook until nearly evaporated.

Now pour in 1 cup of the warm stock and stir with a wooden spoon until the rice has absorbed all of the liquid. Add another cup of stock. Continue in this way, stirring constantly and adding the stock 1 cup at a time, allowing the rice to absorb the liquid before adding more. (You may not need all of the stock; the risotto is done when it is slightly firm but creamy.) Fold in the scallops with the last cup of stock to warm them up. When the risotto is cooked, fold in the butter and cheese. Serve hot. Serves 4.


Food,Recipes

Doug has restarted the Friday Fun Quiz, and he's getting biblical on us: Which Biblical Villian are You?

Goliath You scored 52% Pride, 35% Envy, 50% Ambition, and 42% Deceitfulness!

You are Goliath, a proud warrior of your people. Though despite your personal glory, you remained a foot soldier instead of the king that you probably could have been. This is because you are content to let someone else dominate the world. You are rather lazy and unmotivated, so naturally, you tend to avoid positions of responsibility like the plague. You are a gentle hero to your countrymen (i.e. your friends, family, social groups), but a despised villain to people outside of these groups. This is probably due to your arrogance and open hostility. In fact, you are very well known for your directness and your "mean what you say, say what you mean" attitude. This attribute, combined with your pride, gives you an uncanny resemblance to the WWF wrestlers of today�you are viewed as either a hero or a villain depending on the allegiance of the fans.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 56% on Pride You scored higher than 53% on Envy You scored higher than 38% on Ambition You scored higher than 46% on Deceitfulness

Link: The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test written by MetalliScats on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Ahh...Communist China. The great land of oppurtunity for outside investors; A pit of oppression for the people who live there.

Authorities say they are holding a Chinese filmmaker because he committed a crime, but they refuse to give any details or allow visitors, his sister said Thursday.

Hmmm...Yes. They want to have open borders so they can ...Protest? Don't they have jobs or school or something? Maybe it's time to go home. This is getting as bad as the French.

"Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price …the $2-5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine," said Kathryn Micken, professor of marketing. She said, "But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity are…

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. Grape Expectations
2. Nasti Spumante

and lastly……. "Booze Yo Lay"

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either White meat(Possum) or red meat Squirrel)"


Out-and-out copy and pasted from Charming, Just Charming, who grabbed it from Confabulation, who is now on my blogroll.



Humor

Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.

The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's a senator from New York.

Humor

Normally, I call for justice. A mom drops her kids off a bridge, and I call for justice: Yes, yes, sure she had mental problems, but we need to send a message that dropping kids into the water is not acceptable. Andrea Yates? Same thing. Instill it into the hearts and minds of anyone who would even consider such an atrocity that this behavior won't be tolerated by society.

Justice isn't as much a punishment for doing wrong as much as it is a social contract our government has with we, The People. Proper justice shows that they are going to protect us. Secondly, it is a deterrent to and punishment for crime.

But then Mary Winkler, the wife of a preacher comes along.

Everyone knows that she has admitted to killing her husband. There is a lot of speculation as to why. Eventually, it will all come out. There will be TV movies on all three of the major networks: One will portray her a bitter, controlling woman who wanted out, another the victim whose only way out was with the gun, and the other network will imply sexual abuse or infidelity. I won't be surprised if there was already a casting call.

Whatever the reasons are, whatever the problems they may have had, the problem was probably intensified by "The Fish Bowl Effect."

Anyone who has ever been in ministry knows what I'm talking about. Suddenly, all eyes are upon you. Every move you make is scrutinized. I've heard of cases where pastors wouldn't buy new cars until they where relocating from one church to another because they didn't want to deal with raised eyebrows of ever watching parishioners. Pastor's wives crying because somebody made a remark about the way they dressed, or the clothes their children wore. You live in a fish bowl: Every part of your life is on display for all to see. In my own life, my business partner finds it hard to believe that I preach because he's heard me swear.

The good Pastor's family must be perfect. The kids must be totally behaved. The wife must be the perfect host, docile and serving.

Any problems in the family must be locked up behind closed doors, away from everyone. There can't be any hint of disunity. They must be totally holy and Godly. And if the Pastor was driven and controlling, who knows how far he may have went to keep everything and everyone in line. And a wife, who was a pastor's kid, who has probably lived under a microscope all of her life, may have felt there was only one way out.

I can only imagine the situation, but I have the feeling that I have imagined it well.

I just want to encourage people to remember that ministers, pastors, preachers and their families human beings. They have taken on a special task of being ministers the the Body of Christ. They are not super human: They struggle with the same issues everyone else struggles with, and often pick up part of the struggle for the people in their care. They deserve focused grace, mercy, prayer, and support.

As for Mary Winkler, I pray that the justice system will deal with her wisely. This is the best way I can pray to ensure that mercy and justice are given out.


Christianity, Current Affairs

Hey, all you hippies who love to pay taxes: You're ripping off the government for millions of tax dollars by driving those little hybrids and fuel efficient cars. In fact, as the driver of a full size, extended cab four-wheel drive truck, I demand a little respect! If I smoked, you would have to worship me for all the tax dollars I'm dumping into the system! But not to worry: Oregon has got your back: Gas tax on miles, not gallons, tested

Afghan Christian Should Be Released Soon

Muslim extremists, who have demanded death for Rahman as an apostate for rejecting Islam, warned the decision would touch off protests across this religiously conservative country. Some clerics previously vowed to incite Afghans to kill Rahman if he was let go.

Sorry. It wasn't 'Muslim extremists'. It was their court system.

You know, when this guy was thrown into prison and his trial and execution seamed eminent, I wondered why we went over there in the first place. We went over to drive out the Taliban to replace it with a equally fundamentalist government? What's up with that?

I know that Bush was wanting to be all touchy feely about respecting their religion, but their religion has no respect for others. Instead of being all, "Well, we have problem there." and "Well, it took us years to overcome slavery.", we should just get right in their faces. With the experience we have in democracy building (Japan, Germany, and our own national experience), and with our military giving them the chance to be free, we have a right to say, "Nope. That's not how it's done." If we don't help build, or rather, just plain build, a truly free Afghanistan, then why did we bother? When our Constitution has worked so well for so long, why do dweebs in the State Department try to come up with a better plan?

Hhmmm...Separation of Church and State. Interesting concept.




Afghanistan, Islam

Size of L.A. March Surprises Authorities

Look. All we are doing is asking you to use the freakin' door! Come here legally, obey the rules, speak the language. Is it that much to ask?

If tightening the borders affects the labor pool, don't you think we'll open the door a little wider if we need to? We just want to have control over who is coming and going.





Illegal immigration

There's a bunch of stories and commentary about the Russians stabbing us in the back over the war with Iraq.

I only have one comment to make: Duh!

Oh, you want me to expound? Okay.

While most Russians live with the hope of getting decent jobs and food for their families, maybe a car and a TV, there are a few holdover Commies that miss the good old days: Possible world domination, having control and influence over third world nations, holding the purse strings for petty dictators, and the like. When Reagan drove them into the ground by bankrupting them, some went the way of capitalism.

Others, like the Nazi's before WWII, believed the WWI was lost by a incompetent few, and that if they where in charge, it would be different.

And since Russia can't compete with the US militarily or economically, they stab us in the back. And the UN is an excellent pipeline for information that they can use against us.

I mean, come on! They haven't done any thing yet to encourage trust. Why are we surprised?


News and Politics,Commies

Uncle Ben, under the cover of darkness, approaching a young ladies balcony:

A stalking I will go!
A stalking I will go!
Off to see Melissa
A stalking I will go!

I'm going to go at night!
I'm going to go at night!
I'm going to see...Hm-mph! (swarmed by French coppers) Get you hands off me! Melissa! Melissa! I'll always love you!....

***Sounds of sirens fading off into the night***
An attractive blond looks down from her balcony and says, "Qui était ce geek?" (Who was that geek?)

The end.

Humor

Got some friends coming over for dinner this weekend. I'm thinking this for the entree:

Stuffed Pork Loin with Peaches
****Loin****
2 lb pork loin roast
3 ea patties country sausage mashed; crumbled, cooked, and drained
1/2 ea small peach; peeled, pitted, and diced, or 1/2 cup from the can you need for the sauce.
3 tbsp Cognac, Brandy, or Apple Jack
1/4 c diced red onion
1/3 c bread crumbs
3 tbsp butter; melted

salt and pepper
2 tbsp olive oil

Peach Sauce
2 1/2 ea peaches (or 14 oz can, drained)-- peeled & pitted
2 - 3 tbsp sugar depending on sweetness of fruit (not needed for canned fruit)
3 tbsp sherry vinegar or apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp Cognac, Brandy, or Apple Jack
1/2 tsp ground chipotle
1/2 tsp ground cardamom
2 tbsp butter

Heat oven to 350F.

Saute diced onion in one tablespoon butter until translucent.

In a small bowl mix sausage, onion, bread crumbs, sage, salt, and pepper. Melt remaining butter and drizzle over stuffing mixture along with Cognac.

Pat roast dry. Insert a carving knife from end to end of loin cutting a slot. Reinsert carving knife perpendicular to first cut to form an X extending through roast. Your trying to make a 1 inch tunnel through the meat. Widen it out with a wooden spoon, get your fingers in there, spread it out. Fill roast with stuffing (a wooden spoon helps pack it in). Liberally season roast with salt and pepper.

Heat olive oil over medium high heat in an ovenproof skillet and brown roast on all sides. Place skillet with roast in middle of oven and cook until an instant-read thermometer registers 145F at center. Remove from oven and allow to rest.

While roast cooks, slice 1/2 peach into thin wedges and reserve. Chop remaining peaches and simmer in a sauce pan with other ingredients for 15 minutes. Process until smooth in a blender or food processor. Be Very Careful Blending Hot Stuff! It has a tendency to rapidly expand, and if your not careful, you could burn yourself. Put a towel over the cover of your blender or food processor.

Serve roast, garnished with peach slices and drizzle with the peach sauce. Serves six.



Food,Cooking,Recipes

...in the TTLB Ecosystem today. I usually run as a "Flappy Bird" in the 4000's, yet today I find myself a "Large Mammal" ranked at #744. It must be the motorcycle post.

So I'll enjoy my little burst of fame with a song:

(Sung poorly along to the "Sponge Bob Squarepants" theme)


Oh...! Whose a Large Mammal in The TTLB Ecosystem?

Surly's Soap Box!

His ideas are solid and and people adore him!

Surly's Soap Box!

Who puts gourmet cooking with in everyones reach?

Surly's Soap Box!

Even for Ben who likes Frog a la peche?

Surly's Soap Box!
Surly's Soap Box!
Surly's Soap Box!
Surly's Soap Box!


I'm sure that my this time tomorrow the glitch will be fixed, and Surly's Soap Box will return to it's usual humble station.

Motorcycles!

Yup. This is the year I return to the freedom of two wheeled transportation.

Ahh...The wind in my hair. The bugs inbedded in my forehead. Sun burn. 50+ miles to the gallon.


Years ago I had on of these:



Now, Because of the Child, I'm thinking about getting one of these:




Hmmm...

Once again, the religion of peace at work:

KABUL, Afghanistan - An Afghan man who allegedly converted from Islam to Christianity is being prosecuted in a Kabul court and could be sentenced to death, a judge said Sunday.

Ah yes. Feeling the love now.

The defendant, Abdul Rahman, was arrested last month after his family went to the police and accused him of becoming a Christian, Judge Ansarullah Mawlavezada told Associated Press in an interview. Such a conversion would violate the country's Islamic laws.

Rahman, who is believed to be 41, was charged with rejecting Islam when his trial started last week, the judge said.

During the hearing, the defendant allegedly confessed that he converted from Islam to Christianity 16 years ago when he was 25 and working as a medical aid worker for Afghan refugees in neighboring Pakistan, Mawlavezada said.

Afghanistan's constitution is based on Shariah law, which states that any Muslim who rejects their religion should be sentenced to death.

"We are not against any particular religion in the world. But in Afghanistan, this sort of thing is against the law," the judge said. "It is an attack on Islam. ... The prosecutor is asking for the death penalty."

There's that 'religion of peace' thing working for ya again. I wonder, why did we go into Afghanistan? Oh, terrorists, right. And we 'respected' their religion and self determination, and this is what happens.

The prosecutor, Abdul Wasi, said the case was the first of its kind in Afghanistan.

He said that he had offered to drop the charges if Rahman changed his religion back to Islam, but the defendant refused.

So, we did remove the Taliban, didn't we? I thought this stuff wasn't going to happen any more. Oh, how naive I've been.

Yup. People don't like the laws in France, so the answer is to burn stuff.


News and Politics

And why not? They mock everyone else. But this is particularly amusing to me because at one time, when I was younger, I dabbled in Scientology. Alright, I was into it big time: Worked at one of their 'Churches', signed the billion years contract...Good times...good times. Oh wait: It sucked!

I had an office and a fancy title, spent 16 hours a day there and made no money. My involvement there destroyed my relationships with friends and family. All there promises of changed lives for thousands of dollars meant nothing. Who cares if you go back into the past and repair things if you can't even function in today's world. I still saw people who had spent thousands and invested their lives into the cult still dragging their asses in, hung over, struggling with the same stuff over and over again, and Scientology's answer is always the same: You haven't spent enough money!

You have no idea the families I've seen ruined and the people I've seen used up and thrown away. Elderly abandoned because they were of no use to the them anymore because they came down with Alzheimer's and were out of money. It is sad.

The only reason I'm not on a ship (yes, they have their own Navy) somewhere is because of divine intervention: One day I was sitting at my desk, going over reports or something like that, and sudden my eyes were opened to the fact that nobody I knew in Scientology was better off (spiritually) than when I first met them. I quietly slipped all my personal items into a bag and left.

I received lots of phone calls, even a couple of threats, but when I asked them to refund the money I had spent there, they left me alone.

I've never been a "South Park" fan, but I can get behind this. More power to them.

Here is the article in full.

"South Park" has declared war on Scientology. Matt Stone and Trey Parker, creators of the animated satire, are digging in against the celebrity-endorsed religion after a controversial episode mocking outspoken Scientologist Tom Cruise was yanked abruptly from the schedule Wednesday _ with Internet rumors it was covert warfare by Cruise that led to its departure.

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!" the "South Park" creators said in a statement Friday in Daily Variety. "Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies... You have obsructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail!"

Internet bloggers accused Cruise of threatening to not promote "Mission Impossible 3," a surefire summer blockbuster, if the offending episode ran. Comedy Central is owned by Viacom, as is Paramount, which is putting out "MI:3."

But Cruise's representative, Arnold Robinson, told The Associated Press Friday that the mega-star made no such demands.

"Not true," Robinson said. "I can tell you that he never said that."

A call by The Associated Press to a Paramount representative was not returned Friday.

The episode in question, "Trapped in the Closet," which first aired last November, shows Scientology leaders hailing Stan, one of the show's four devilish fourth graders, as a savior. A cartoon Cruise locks himself in a closet and won't come out. An animated John Travolta, another famous Scientologist, enters the closet to try to get him out.

In another dig at the famously secretive religion, the credits at show's end are filled with names like "John Smith" and "Jane Smith."

The battle began in earnest earlier this week when Isaac Hayes, another celebrity Scientologist and longtime show member _ voicing the ladies' man Chef _ quit the show, saying he could no longer tolerate its religious "intolerance and bigotry."

Stone and Parker didn't buy that either.

On Monday, Stone told The Associated Press, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith in Scientology...He has no problem _ and he's cashed plenty of checks _ with our show making fun of Christians."

A Comedy Central spokesman said Friday that the network pulled the controversial episode to make room for two shows featuring Hayes.

"In light of the events of earlier this week, we wanted to give Chef an appropriate tribute by airing two episodes he is most known for," the spokesman said.

Scientology

Desperate times call for desperate measures:

Desperate to add credibility to their maniacal rants and twisted views that they can't even use the truth, when the use it at all, correctly. Example:

"Oscar winner George Clooney may make politically provocative films like "Syriana." But he doesn't write politically provocative blogs.

So imagine his ire when Arianna Huffington used some of his recent answers to political questions in a way that makes it look as if he wrote one for her Huffington Post blog site."

Hmmm. Read some more:

"Miss Huffington's blog is purposefully misleading and I have asked her to clarify the facts. I stand by my statements but I did not write this blog. With my permission Miss Huffington compiled it from interviews with Larry King and The Guardian. What she most certainly did not get my permission to do is to combine only my answers in a blog that misleads the reader into thinking that I wrote this piece. These are not my writings — they are answers to questions and there is a huge difference."

So, as I understand it, Clooney gave Huffington permission to use quoates from him, but Huffington, not happy with that, had to take the out of context and make them fit the message she wanted to get out.

As if Clooney doesn't say enough commie drivel, Huffington has to hash it over. Sheesh.


Feingold accuses Democrats of 'cowering' after he runs off of the Senate floor, refusing to debate his plan to censure Bush. He gains favor with the lunatic fringe, while "mainstream" lefties try to distance themselves from him.


And Ginsburg blames the Republicans for death threats:

"Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said she and former Justice Sandra Day O'Connor have been the targets of death threats from the "irrational fringe" of society, people apparently spurred by Republican criticism of the high court."

Update:Psycmeister give us this: Self-serving traitorous media whores.

You are LearnedFoot!

Women want you. Ben Worley wants to be you. And you

are always willing to learn something from

Iron Maiden.


Which KAR blogger are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Iron Maiden? Sheesh. What about the Ramones? Or The Replacements? I'd even go so far as to say Iggy Pop. And as far as Ben goes, well, that's a given.

By the way, visit The Kool Aid Report here.

KAR

Well, The Incubator (what I call preschool) is closed today due to weather, so I'm home with the little one. She is still snoozing, the snow is falling, the power is still on, and I am working on a number of projects:

1. Building a new portable grill, so I'm ordering parts today.

2. Sermon Prep.

3. Cleaning up the Office/Overflow area.

6:42 AM: Drinking coffee. Don't want to just jump into things.

7:42 AM Boss called and said power is out at the shop! That makes it a guilt free snow day!
Corn beef hash and over easy eggs for breakfast.
Listening to The Patriot.

7:49AM Sweeter Half sez, "Live blogging your snow day?! You are a geek!"

8:15AM Little Girl just woke up.

8:30AM A Banana and Peanut Butter Toast for breakfast.

9:46AM Snow, Snow, Snow...One of the neighbors parked in the street and got plowed in BIG TIME! I have to laugh because they had plenty of room in the drive way. Child is watching Miffy, I'm working of sermon prep, Sweeter Half is doing dishes.

10:28AM Played guitar for a while.

10:45AM Looks like it's starting to lighten up out there. Guess I should go fire up the snow blower. I have an ancient snow blower: Steel auger, no saftey devices. It well rip your arm clear off if your stupid enough to stick your arm into any of the moving parts. Prediction: Tonight there will be a news segment on people loosing fingers and such to the snow blowers.

12:54PM Stupid Fricken' Snow Blower. Started first pull. Had to do a little carb adjustment, no biggie. I saw the older neighbor guy out shoveling, so I thought I'd do the good deed, and went over a blew out his driveway. Came back, did 2 passes on mine and the recoil starts grinding and throwing sparks. I shut her down, trying to save it, but alas, the recoil is locked up tight.

4:02PM Earlier, I after my snow blower went down, I went to move my truck so I could more easily shovel. I drove around the block and saw my Iraqi neighbors out with a broken shovel trying to move snow. I went back around to my place, grabbed decent shovel, and went back to help. It turns out that they had a snow blower, but didn't know how to start it. I fired it up for them, helped them finish up their driveway and asked to borrow it.

So, I bring it back around to my place, get about half of my driveway blown out, and the blower locks up.

Great. I was trying to get my driveway blown out in hope of finding my keys. Some time in the day I lost my truck keys, and I'm sure they are buried in the snow. I figured I'd find my keys by flinging them across the yard with a snow blower.

I got their snow blower running again and brought it back. I hope I didn't ruin it.

That's it for live blogging today.

My friend Jesse 'tightened up' the blog for me. Looks great, doesn't it? If you think you'd like Jesse to do a little work on yours, shoot him an email. The best part is that he does it for whiskey. So you might want to pray for him as well.

The last few weeks have been rather stressful for yours truly. I've been overbooking myself and then haven't been able to follow up on things that I felt were important. I tend to get a little, err, surly, when things don't go the way I had planned.

On top of that, add a very stubborn, hyper intelligent preschooler who is very good at reading people and telling the truth. You have trouble. Just for the record, she gets her stubbornness from her moms side.

Then...there is the ever growing pile of toys. At one time, the toys were safely stored away in bins and boxes, but slowly, they began to migrate into the living room. Not a corner of the living room, the entire living room. My Little Ponies. Crayons. All the paper that was in my printer is now covered in dinosaurs, flowers, and self portraits. She is quite the prolific artist. Don't forget the Little People Barnyard, Dora the Explora' (hip-hop version) and numerous dolls.

We'd already been butting heads for awhile now over the meaning of the word "no", and whether I really mean what I say.

Now, I barked at her earlier this evening and realized that I was being a grouch, so I apologized. I asked her to forgive me for being a grouch, and she asked me to forgive her for not listening. When I apologize, I don't do it to manipulate. It's not, "Honey, I'm grouchy because you won't listen to me." I acknowledge my part, and I think she is learning to do the same thing.

So...Preoccupied with sermon writing Daddy sez, "Honey, put your toys away."
"Okay."
Nothing happens.

Preoccupied with cooking dinner Daddy sez, "Honey, start putting your toys away now!"
"No. I don't want to."

Bare in mind that this has been the kind of week were nothing has gone my way. I simply wanted my very stubborn, hyper intelligent preschooler to put away her toys.

Time for threats: "If I have to pick it up, I'm putting it away where you can't play with it for a long time."

The little stinker gets a box, and tells me that she doesn't want to play with her toys anymore.

Not wanting to explode (after all, I am the adult here), I stomp of to the kitchen. A couple minutes later, my wife asks 'Honey', "What's wrong?", to which she replies, "I'm sad."

This catches my ear, or rather, my heart, and I go into the living room and sit down next to her. Putting my arm around her, I ask, "Why are you sad, honey?"

"You said you forgive me but you are still acting like you didn't."

Ouch.
Err...
Well...

She was right. Even though I had gone through the motions of forgiveness, even though I knew I was out of line, even though she had asked for my forgiveness, I hadn't really forgiven her.

With her child like faith, she forgave me when I asked. In my jaded 'adultness', I didn't. I made a show of it.

For the second time this evening, I apologized. But this time, it was from my heart. We sat on the couch and prayed, seeking forgiveness from above, and just hugged. After a little while I asked her how I could show her that I really did forgive her and that everything was good between us, and she said I could help her pick up her toys.

The rest of the evening was great. We rough housed, picked up crayons, made mini-banana cream pies for a birthday party she's going to tomorrow...It was a wonderful evening. Sweeter Half even remarked that the tension thats been hanging around our house had lifted. You could say there was healing here tonight.

The 'moral' of the story is that God used a 3 1/2 year old to speak to me about my sincerity. She saw right though me, and made a just report of my actions. If I can't be sincere and honest with my own daughter about deep spiritual things like forgiveness, how can I be with anyone else. Worse yet, if she sees that I'm not being real and true, how can she believe anything I say? What harm can I cause if my actions don't match my words? If I profess to be a Christian, and my actions don't follow my words, what does that tell her?

Thank God for little ones.

I was unaware that there are other bloggers who do the "post a recipe on Friday" thing. Like this guy Vodka Pundit, who put up a recipe for Crock Pot Lamb today.

Hmmm. Looks good to me.

I try to post Friday's recipe on Thursday, but I didn't have a chance yesterday. So, in honor of my Catholic readers, I post a fish recipe. Once again, I can't credit a source because I just pull these out of my big freakin' folder of recipes. Maybe I got it in school, maybe from a job, probably the internet.

Hey, that could be a name for my Cook Book! Surly Dave's Big Freakin' Folder of Recipes.


Fish Tacos

White Sauce:
1 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup milk
4 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon garlic salt

Fish Tacos:
Oil
2 packages Tempura Batter Mix
1 can beer
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
24 ounces boneless cod, cut into 2-inch pieces
6 corn tortillas
2 cups shredded cabbage
1 tablespoon cilantro, chopped
2 limes

For the sauce:
Mix all ingredients together and set aside.

Preheat a fryer or a deep pot halfway filled with oil to 375 degrees F. Remember to get a thermometer like discussed here.

Mix 1 of the packages of batter, but only use 1/2 the required amount of water and use beer for the remaining amount instead. Add the beer until the batter becomes almost like a heavy cream consistency.

Using the other package of batter add salt, garlic powder,cumin, coriander, and coat cod pieces with the dry mix, then dip into prepared batter. Deep-fry for about 3 minutes, or until golden brown and cooked through.

Place fried cod pieces on warmed corn tortillas, add white sauce to fish, a little shredded cabbage and a squeeze of lime, to taste.

Garnish with chopped cilantro.

Just put some spending in there somewhere. You know he can't resist spending money.

Ports

Looking for a good time:

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama (Reuters) - Authorities arrested three college students on Wednesday on charges of setting fires that damaged or destroyed nine Baptist churches in Alabama, in what one suspect allegedly called a joke that went too far.

Prosecutors identified the suspects as Ben Moseley and Russell Debusk, 19-year-old students at Birmingham-Southern College, and Matthew Lee Cloyd, 20, who transferred last year from Birmingham-Southern to the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

In court documents, a federal agent quoted Moseley as saying the trio had gone to Bibb County, Alabama, to shoot deer on February 2 and had set fire to five rural churches early the next morning.



A witness quoted Cloyd as saying that was done "as a joke, and it got out of hand."

How does an evening of shooting deer turn into an arson spree? I think part of the answer can be found here.

A joke that got out of hand? Grease on windshield wipers is a joke gone to far. Plastic wrap on a toilet is a joke gone to far. Dragging the load mouth drunk guy that has passed out at a party into a pasture, placing him under an electric fence and lowering it down to a couple inches of his chest, then poking him with a stick so he keeps flinching and getting shocked, well, thats hilarious.

Burning down churches for fun? These punks don't have a clue.

In 1998-99, I was the worship minister of a church in a small town that burned down under suspicious circumstances. The effect something like that has on a congregation and the surronding community lasts for years.

What a bunch of stupid bastards.




Current Affairs

Human interest stories really irk me. Maybe it's the pain and agony I'm suffering through (not quietly, mind you), maybe it's the freakin' TV newsies who have to go and find a freakin' crying, snot nosed kid anytime that want to 'bring it home'.

Example: Nebraska is beaten by Colorado. Poster Boy for demonstrating the agony of defeat was some kid in the stands crying, snot running down his face and everything. My solution: Take away all sporting equipment and propaganda, then put him in a dress. Parents should be forced to go on tour with the Smucker's Stars on Ice.

And now with the death of Kirby Puckett, The newsies are prowling about for human interest stories. Stories of people breaking down and crying in front of the camera. Stories of people, who apparently have no jobs, gathering around the Metro Dome, erecting shrines to Kirby.

And of course: The Boy Named Kirby. Mom was pregnant at one of the World Series games, named the boy Kirby. He actually met Kirby at an autograph signing event...Good stuff, nice story...But did they have to get the tears? Did they have to get the snot? Why did the family feel it necessary to put his grieve out in public? Come on! This would have been a cute story next year when everyone was doing the "Kirby Died Last Year" stories, but this was...Bad. Tasteless. Unnecessary.

Don't get me wrong: I like Kirby. Kirby and the Twins of those days made me love baseball. When you look at the roster, most of those guys lived here in Minnesota. They made it their home, they plugged into the communities. Now, they all live in Florida, transients all.

I think Kirby got kind of a bad rap when all the allegations about domestic abuse and groping and all that stuff was going on. The same media that is quick to eulogize him today was quick to condemn him then. Tom Barnard is probably the worse. I've been forced to listen to the White Trash Morning Show as a result of working in blue collar environments over the years, and KQ (local MN radio) is usually the choice of the masses. I remember when the groping allegations hit the news, and I remember how bitterly Tom Barnard went after Kirby. Today, if you believed Bernard, they were best friends.

I think he never recovered from the way he was ripped apart in the media, especially the media of the state that he loved.

Anyway, Rest in Peace, Kirby. Baseball will never be the same.

it pours. I was ready to go the the Precinct Caucus this evening, when around 4:00 PM my toe starts to hurt. Actually, the joint where the big toe connects to the main part of the foot. With in a half hour, it was excruciating. Alas: Gout:

Gout (gowt) causes sudden, severe attacks of pain and tenderness, redness, warmth, and swelling in some joints. Usually affects one joint at a time -- often the big toe.

I haven't had a major flair up in years, but this one is major. Even the weight of a blanket at not is unbearable.

So I figured that going to the caucus would be unproductive because I wouldn't even be able to walk. Figures.

An extraordinary family who walk on all fours are being hailed as the breakthrough discovery which could shed light on the moment Man first stood upright.

Scientists believe that the five brothers and sisters found in Turkey could hold unique insights into human evolution.


Or at the least, probably some insight into what happens when you keep marrying your cousins.

***Caution***
***Religious Humor***
Please don't riot in the streets, burn down embassies and fast food restaurants, and chant "Death to America".






(H/T Tian)

Go watch the 'commercial' here.

***Caution***
***Religious Humor***
Please don't riot in the streets, burn down embassies and fast food restaurants, and chant "Death to America".


Humor

Now here is a holiday I can support: March 15th Eat A Tasty Animal for PETA Day: EATAPETA Day.

PETA wishs that all animals would live out happy, useful lives. They all have a place. Right next to the mashed potatoes.

But then there is this: Save Jill.

I would like to introduce to you a new member of the Dr. Phat Tony family. This is Jill. Jill is 3 ½ weeks old, and probably one of the cutest things ever. Unfortunately Jill is in a fight for her life and she doesn’t even know it.

I'll be keeping you up to date on this.


Save Jill

With all the hype about the Oscars and such, I'd like to invite you to take a couple moments to watch this video of Johnny Cash. It's like looking into the man's soul.

"This poignant performance of Nine Inch Nail’s, “Hurt" is almost haunting, as it was recorded just prior to Cash’s untimely death. Whether or not a Johnny Cash fan, this performance is powerful and deep with emotion. Produced by Rick Rubin, The Man Comes Around is the fourth and final Grammy Award-winning album Cash and Rubin have collaborated on."

Current Affairs

Mediterranean Potato Salad


Preheat Oven to 425

You'll need for 8:

2 lb Baby Red potatoes, washed, dried, and quartered
1 Bunch of Fresh Asparagus (Or 1 lb Fresh Green Beans) cut into 1 inch sections
1 Sweat Onion, thinly sliced
small carton of cherry tomatoes, halved
one small jar pesto.
olive oil
Kosher salt
fresh ground pepper

Toss the potatoes and onions with olive oil. You want enough to coat, but not bathe. Sprinkle with salt (2 good pinches) and pepper, place in baking pan in oven for 15 minutes.

After 15 minutes, remove and add tomatoes and asparagus. Add another pinch of salt, stir, and return to oven for 15 more minutes.

Check the potatoes for doneness Should be with in 5 minutes of being done, but always check. How? Taste.

When done, pour the mix into a large bowl, and stir in half the pesto. This is one of those 'you be the judge' moments as to how much. Coat everything well and serve it up.


Cooking,Recipes

"That's right, step this way...Your documents seam to be in order...In town to do a little partying, eh?

Well, before you hit the streets, there have been some changes since the United States government stepped in to take over. Since the city was already on par with third world nations, they just made it a territory. You didn't know about that? Where have you been?

After hurricane Katrina in 2005, the federal government was called in to pick up the slack left by the fast and loose city and state governments. The local governments failed to use the resources available to them to evacuate and rescue people when the storm came, not to mention that for years corrupt officials neglected to take care of their levees. Of course, once everything 'hit the fan', they blamed President Bush for not babysitting them. What? You heard about all that mess with Mayor Nagin not using the school buses, right? And Gov. Blanco didn't ask for help until it was late...Well anyway, there was a general break down on the local level and since the federal government couldn't legally do anything until invited in, the collapse rested squarely on the shoulders of Gov. Blanco and Mayor Nagin. Being politicians rather than leaders, they threw up a smoke screen of blame and pointing fingers, mostly at Bush, to cover their tracks.

So the federal government pumped millions into the area to rebuild it, and wouldn't you know, they got hit by hurricanes Bob, Dick, and Harriet in 2006. It was the beginning of an up swing in hurricane cycle.

Global Warming? No, there is a cycle were we get a lot of hurricanes for a while, then not as many. Look at history and you'll see we got nailed in the 30's and '60s. It's part of the way things happen.

But anyway, since New Orleans is built in a swamp, it was flooded numerous times, getting to the point were the Army Corp of Engineers couldn't do anything until the hurricane season was over. And every time a storm hit, there was out cry that the federal government wasn't doing enough. Eventually, they just moved in and took over.

By the end of 2006, all the smart people had moved to places that weren't prone to hurricanes and flooding, or at the very least, were their elected officials took care of business. The only ones here year around are the military and the corp. We open up Bourbon Street during Marti Gras, but that's it.

Of course, Ray Nagin and a bunch of liberal journalist looking for a story stayed for a while. And a bunch of welfare recipients who wouldn't leave until they discovered they had to go else where for their checks.

They don't report it, but now Nagin's rants are recorded in a studio in Houston. He's afraid of the weather.

So, enjoy your stay for Marti Gras. Remember to stay in the clearly marked safe zones, and be sure you leave at the end of festivities."



News and Politics, Current Affairs, Satire