Surly's Soap Box

"But ABC apparently wants Rosie to look as glamorous as possible when she sits down on “The View” among Joy Behar, Star Jones, and Debbie Hasselbeck."

O'Donnell?




Glamorous?




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...***OUCH***.

Sorry, I just ruptured my spleen.

Next someone will say she's a comedian.


Humor

***NEWS FLASH***

In a small farming community outside Chicago, the Joint Meth/Foie Gras Gang Task force take down another clandestine "lab".

Farmer Brown is seen being taken away in hand cuffs while his wife and children are huddled together on the front porch.

A Fox Cops camera crew catches it all on film.

"It's just sad." A masked undercover agent said, "Used to be that, on occasion, some of these small farms might grow some pot to subsidize their income, or even cook up meth. But with Foie Gras going at $250 a pound, these farmers are turning in their grow lights and glass beakers for PVC tubes."

In a scene familiar to the inner city "crack avenues", foie gras fanatics are cruising up and down the back country roads, hoping to score. Men dressed in chef coats, often carrying thier "rigs" (implements needed to partake in foie gras, similar to a heroine addicts needle and syringe), help prepare and serve foie gras to their clients in run down, substandard shacks, trailer homes and R.V's.

"I knew something fishy was going on there." Farmer Brown's neighbor said. "All those Mercedes and Audis pulling in and out of his drive way at all hours of the night."

CHICAGO — The goose liver delicacy foie gras was banned from restaurants Wednesday in a measure approved by the Chicago City Council after members decided it was inhumane to force-feed the birds.

"Our city is better for taking a stance against the cruelty of foie gras," said Alderman Joe Moore, who sponsored the ordinance.

Mayor Richard Daley opposed the measure.

"We have children getting killed by gang leaders and dope dealers. We have real issues here in this city," said Daley, the Chicago Sun-Times reported on its Web site. "Let's get some priorities."

Rich and buttery, foie gras, pronounced fwah-GRAH and French for "fat liver," often is served sliced and pan-seared, frequently with fruit or atop greens or a cut of steak or veal.

To fatten the liver of waterfowl, a tube is often inserted into their throats twice a day and partially cooked corn is pumped down the esophagus.

Several Chicago restaurateurs opposed the ban, saying they did not want politicians meddling with a product steeped in tradition. But others had stopped serving it before the ban was approved.

California is the only state to ban the force-feeding of birds to produce the gourmet liver product, having passed a measure that would end the practice by 2012.

More than a dozen countries, mostly in Europe, have banned production of the delicacy on the grounds of cruelty. But in France, foie gras has been declared "part of the cultural and gastronomic patrimony, protected in France."

By the way, foie gras does run about $250 a lb right now. I'm going with France on this one.




Cooking, Food, Humor, News and Politics

Update:

When I was growing up, May Day was about a bunch of silly dancers weaving a ribbon around a pole.

When I got into High School, I found out that it was the typical spring time fertility celebration.

When I got into the Navy, I found out that it was about communism. I don't know how communism and fertility got mixed up together, but I am sure someone got screwed. And, as the old saying goes, "They weren't getting kissed."

So, celebrating May Day in this tradition, we get this:

California's state senators on Thursday endorsed Monday's boycott of schools, jobs and stores by illegal immigrants and their allies as supporters equated the protest with great social movements in American history.

Excuse me while I locate an Adult Beverage...

Beverage located...

...and consumed.

Okay.

The next level of May Day celebrations, as defined by the California State Senate, is to subjugate themselves to a foreign power.

What's next? Will they start running the San Diego light rail mass transit system from down town Tijuana? Why bother with things like fences: That money could be used to install bridges and escalators for those who want to make their way to the U.S. I know it takes the glamour out of running across the desert in the middle of the night, but hey! Seeing that we are endorsing illegal immirgrants, let's just go all the way. Let's flood the market with cheap, unskilled, uneducated labors so that our own unskilled, uneducated labors can't find jobs.

I am really tired of politicians who want to remain in power instead of watching out for the good to the nation and We The People.


Current Affairs, Commies, Illegal immigration, Mexico

The "healing glow of the sun" has betrayed me. Not only have my tomato plants bit the dust, but my peppers and such just got steamed out. The green house effect wiped them out. This spells doom for us all. Could it be that Al Gore was right?


Pray for us all.










Heirloom Tomatoes

Sadness. Despair. General unhappiness abounds in regards to my tomato plants.

***sigh***

They all came up so well. All of my beloved tomatoes. They climbed to about four inches tall, then keeled over, listless.

I've tried everything I can think of, but they just lie there.

The peppers are doing good.

The melons and pumpkins: Great!

But the tomatoes...

Right now they are on life support. The geranium lid is closed up, and right now they are basking in the healing glow of the sun. As long as there is green, there is hope.

Courage.






Heirloom Tomatoes, Gardening

Like I said, I understand the free market. I also understand that business is in the business of making money. Huge companies are responsible to their stock holders, and if they don't make money, then the stock holders get mad and drive the board out. I am a capitalist. I love making money. But if I don't treat my customers right, they go some where else. There are hundreds of caterers out there, and decent pricing and good service brings more business.

With the big corporations, particularly oil, there isn't a choice. That, with the fact that our society/economy doesn't offer an affordable solution to oil, leaves us kind of stuck.

But the real issue isn't the profit factor. The real issue is heart. This is where my Christianity comes in. I do a lot of charity work, but that is where my heart is. I probably do more cooking for free than I do for profit. While I don't expect oil companies to function that way, what about the 300 (or 400) million dollar retirement package they just handed out. This shows that there is something fundamentally wrong with our culture. The man's work is not worth that much.

Do I want government to make laws to change behavior? No. I don't want the government involved in social engineering. You can't make people moral. You can try to make them act moral, but, as the old saying goes, "A man forced against his will is of the same opinion still."

But at the same time, the oil companies are involved in their own brand of social engineering: Let's see how far we can push it before we get in trouble. Is this right? In the game of business, yes. In a just society? Well, no. There needs to be a change of heart, and that can't be legislated.

But I want to be clear: If it came down to a choice between the Government regulating things and paying more for gas, I'll pay more for gas.

Everyone is worried about gas prices. What happened to turn the prices around last time the skyrocketed? There were congressional hearings. As soon as congress got involved, gas prices dropped nearly 75 cents. Now, I am not one for getting the government involved in every aspect of our lives. I don't want more legislation and laws, or having government get itself involved in price controls. And yes, I understand that business is in the business of making money. But when the oil companies backed off so quickly once the government started snooping around, well, it makes you wonder.

There are some things that are necessary for our society to function: Water, Electricity, and Oil. When the people that control these are playing around with them and having impact on the lives of everyone else, shouldn't the government get involved...some how? Like the power companies that where screwing with California a few years ago?

I'm just wondering.

Update:Here are some other thoughts on the matter at Musings of a Real Texas Cowgirl.

Current Affairs,
Gas

I've been working lots of overtime lately and working on getting ready for a (hopefully) busy catering season. Not a lot of time for posting.

Restaurant Brokers: There are two kinds. You have the ones who are on permanent vacation in Florida and call weeks after you left a massage, and then there are the ones that have no clue what they are trying to sell you. (i.e: idiots)

I have been playing with the idea of opening a restaurant for a few years now, and find restaurant brokers impossible to work with. Landlords are usually easier, but would rather sit on an empty space for years before begrudging you a couple bucks.

Well, I'll just keep my eyes open.

I'm kind of bored with politics lately. The latest is either Giuliani or McCain are going to be the candidates for the GOP in the '08, or both on the ticket. I don't really care for either, but I'd take Giuliani any day over McCain. If it were a McCain/Giuliani ticket, I'd seriously look at the Libertarians.

Then there's Iran: Some serious religious fanatics with nuclear capabilities. People who have vowed to wipe Israel off the map. People who must be stopped. What do we get? Commie nut cases like this Professor of Journalism at the University of Minnesota:

Unless the international community can design safety valves to check American aggression, more and more nation states will opt for a nuclear deterrence capability. And then the next American war could well be a nuclear war.

Abhinav K. Aima is Instructor of Journalism at the University of Minnesota, who is trying to gloss over the religious/emotional aspects of the argument by getting on with straight out leftie political science. Here's a news flash, Professor: You can not argue feelings with logic! The very essence of faith, even in a false religion like Islam, is believing in the unseen. If you refuse to examine the religious side of this argument, all of your political science and thinking that their only concern is national security goes right out the window. In fact, you refuse to look at what they have actually said, in words and writing, and build an argument for them. The real problem here is that Abhinav is the typical America hating leftie commie professor who has to build a case for the enemies of freedom. They say, "We will destroy you", Abhinav patronizingly says, "That's not what they really meant. They really meant the they want to protect themselves."

National security is an argument that they haven't tried to make for themselves.

Can't we all just eat some Beer Butt Chicken? I know, bad segway (sp?).


Beer Butt Chicken

1 Whole (3 1/2 - 4lb) Chicken
1 12 once can o' beer (more if your thirsty)
couple tablespoons of you favorite all purpose BBQ rub.
2 teaspoons olive or vegetable oil

Get your grill ready. Start your charcoal in a chimney.

Open the beer. Drink half.

Make sure the chicken is thawed. Remove any giblets and wash the bird with cold water, inside and out. Pat it dry with some paper towels.

Rub the inside of the chicken with a 2 teaspoons of rub, then coat the outside with the oil and the rest of the rub.

Now, place the can in an upright position. Carefully place the bird onto the can, inserting the can into the cavity. Cross the legs of the bird to form a little tripod.

Before you place it on the grill, push the coals off to the sides so the chicken is cooking with indirect heat. This prevents flare ups as well.

Cook until the temp reaches 180° in the thigh, about 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hours. Another way to tell if chicken is done is when you can twist the leg bone right out of the drumstick.

To get it off the grill, use a couple of oven mitts of a side towel to pick it up. Present it.

If you are like Learned Foot and likes the taste of toxic chemicals in your grilled food, put a tablespoon of lighter fluid in a cup and mix it with barbecue sauce. Light it on fire, then use as a dipping sauce. Let the others enjoy their dinner.








Commies, Cooking, Current Affairs, Food, Iran Islam, Israel, Middle East, News and Politics

But I've got your back...

Learned Foot of KAR fame is a poser. He does a good job of steering people away from the evils of the gas grill, only to lead them astray by telling them to, "Now go forth and buy some lighter fluid."


Wrong! WRONG! WRONG!

Never use lighter fluid.

Bad Chemicals. Bad Taste. Pretty amature. What you need is one of these:





A little news paper or paper bag in the bottom, light a match, and let the coals get nice and toasty. None of the lighter fluid taste.

By the way, when you use newpaper, don't use the opinion section of the Star Tribune: The isn't enough substance to get a fire going and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.




Cooking,
Food

Oven Brisket

I like to smoke briskets, but sometimes I don't have the time to devote to a smoker. And when you want it for Friday night but you have to work all day...

But here is a easy, though not quick, way to do a brisket.

6:00AM: Turn oven on to 200°.
Rub the brisket down with your prefered rub or steak seasoning.

Put 'er in the oven, on a rack, for 10-12 hours. The temp you are looking for about 195°'s. If you want, when it hits about 160°, put the brisket in a foil pouch big enough for the brisket, mix the pan juices with a cup or two of your favorite BBQ sauce and pout it over the top, and then let it cook to 195°. Good stuff. You can thank be later.


Cooking, Food, Recipes

Advanced You scored 85% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 86% Advanced, and 60% Expert!

You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score. Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 7% on Beginner You scored higher than 34% on Intermediate You scored higher than 10% on Advanced You scored higher than 2% on Expert

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

H/T: Doug

Everything is up except the peppers!

I took a peak this morning and the pumpkins where up, but this afternoon it looked like a jungle in the seed bed. Looking good, looking good.

I've been spending a little time with graph paper plotting out my garden space. I don't want to use the whole back yard because I'm also in the business of raising a child, but I have to make every square inch count. Seeing that I only have one child, I think I'll take down one of the swings on her swing set and replace it with some sort of hanging plant.

Hhhmmm...Does she really need the slide?


Heirloom Tomatos,Gardening

CRAWFORD, Texas (AP) — Peace activist Cindy Sheehan returned to Texas on Wednesday for another war protest near President Bush's ranch, although he was to spend the weekend at Camp David.

The anti-war demonstrators accused Bush, who has spent every Easter at his Crawford ranch since he was elected, of running from them and their message to bring the U.S. troops home from Iraq immediately.

"We chased him away from his ranch," said Sheehan, whose son Casey was killed in Iraq in 2004. "We protest all over the country without him being in attendance, so I don't think it takes away (from this vigil) a bit because he never met with us anyway. It wasn't even like we ever sat down and had sweet tea together."

Borrrrring.

Poor little girl. All used up by the commies, and tossed back on to the rocks. You can hear her peace movement protesting run doing the crappie (what a fish does when tossed into the bottom of a boat with no water).


But death of a movement (not that there was one) doesn't stop people from trudging along, acting like nothing is wrong, acting like things are moving forward even though it stalled out a long time ago.

Like the civil rights movement. It had drive, accomplished much, then ground to a halt. Legally, there was nothing more to be accomplished. What was left to be done was the changing of hearts away from prejudice. But many of the leaders in that movement kept driving on even though the car was dead. The Politician Jesse Jackson is a good example. The Politician Joseph Lowery is another.

The group's third Crawford protest in less than a year includes candlelight vigils, a rally and a march. The Rev. Joseph Lowery, who co-founded the Southern Christian Leadership Conference with Martin Luther King Jr., is to speak at a sunrise Easter Sunday service.

"We're going to do what we do all the time: gather together in peace," Sheehan said. "We're going to call for George Bush and the neo-cons not to invade Iran. That would be a mistake even worse than Iraq. Our children are sitting ducks in the Middle East; the people of Iran and Iraq would be sitting ducks. And I'm not even sure that this invasion won't lead to World War III. So it's something that we have to stop before it starts."

You know, if something really bad happens, like we actually get nuked, these people are going to be the first ones whining that Bush didn't do enough to protect us.




Tags: Commies,
Current Affairs, Iran

Nothing yet. Added some water to the jiffy pots.

Yesterday I added the following items to the starting line up:

Tomatillos
Poblano Peppers
Sweet Bell Peppers (Red, Green, White, and Orange)
Hungarian Wax Peppers
Minnesota Midget Melons
Asian Egg Plant
Pumpkins


Now to wait patiently. Watching, watching, ever vigilant.



Nothing yet...



Still nothing...












Gardening

I proudly join the ranks of "Tomato Blogger". I met up Mayor Doug the other night and he hooked me up with some heirloom tomato seeds.

I started the seeds in jiffy pots today and look forward to sharing the fruits of my labors later this year. Along the way I will share the trials and tribulations of raising tomatos in my back yard. I'll get some photos as well.

The Varieties chosen for this task:

Eva Purple Ball
Jaune Flammé
Cherokee Purple
Azoychka
Costoluto Genovese
Isis Candy
Black From Tula
Snow White
Green Zebra





Heirloom Tomatos

The Mustache thinks there is a serious problem in Minneapolis. Apparently, rich white people are streaming in from the suburbs and gunning down innocent black people. What else could The Mustache assume when he heard North Minneapolis city councilman Don Samuels say:

"Lift up the lower classes to equal status with the rest of (t)his society," he says. "That's what we have to do, that's what we promised history we would do."

Don Samuels' also says,

"I don't give a damn about 15 cops, I want long-term solutions,"

The Mustache wants to know, what long-term solutions does he desire? The socialist answer to any problem that more money must be thrown down the pit.

The Mustache does not like throwing money down pits.

Don Samuels offers lots of pits to throw money down, but The Mustache sees that it is white wash: New curbs and store fronts mask an underlying problem in the community. People of low morals who embrace crime as a lifestyle will kill in front of nice, new, shiny buildings (Block E) just as quick as they would in front of a run down store front.



The problem is that the village has failed. There must be a change with in the homes and social structure of this community.

So, to Don Samuels, The Mustache sez that these people are not lower class. They have embraced low-class values. If they change their values, they will change their communtity.








Current Affairs, Minneapolis,

Went out looking at bikes this morning. The wife has given her approval, now it's all about who, what, when, and where.

The Triumph Bonniville T100 has captured my heart. I've been drooling over them for a couple years now, and I'm close to pulling the trigger.

You know, I realized today that I never blog about my handlebar mustache. It's obviously important to me, important enough that I placed a statement about it in the header of my blog.

Well...I trimmed it back a little. I wasn't happy with it. It wasn't 'bushy' enough, so I pruned it in order to let it grow out better. So right now, it's in a really scruffy state, but it's coming along. In a couple more weeks I'll be able to start waxing it again.

But you know, lately I've been thinking that I haven't really been using my handlebar mustache to it's full potential. I figure there has to be a way to make it work for me.

Then, via Bogus Goldd, this comes to my attention: Malolo's Food Blog. Thus far it's pretty lame-o, but the style is inspiring:

Manolo says, finally, the Manolo’s much anticipated Food Blog, it is here!

The Manolo trusts that you will find in this place much to entertain and amuse you.

Indeed, the Manolo himself, he has many reasons to be pleased with what is, and will be happening at this blog.

In the first of the places, the Manolo he has managed to secure the blogging and editing services of his good friend, the Mr. Henry, who is, in the grand tradition of the Manolo bloggers, the possessor of the powerful and entertaining writerly voice. Even the better he knows the food and cuisine, and has the discriminating and refined tastes that mark the person of quality.

I think I will take this style of writing and make it my own!

From now on, all my writing will be in the third person, except the reference point will be my Handlebar Mustache!

Something like this:

The Handlebar Mustache sez that illegal immigration is bad! Republican Senator monkey boys refuse to pay attention to the wishes of We the People! This angers the Handlebar Mustache!

Or:

The Handlebar sees that Cynthia McKinney does the 'non-apology apology' by yaking about respecting the DC police, yet getting the dis in by saying, "There should not have been any physical contact in this incident." Does she think that she can fool the Handlebar?

Hmmm. The Handlebar must give this more consideration.






Mustache

I have been very busy lately: Helped my brother do some sheet rocking on Saturday, did some grilling Sunday after church, Monday morning I found out that the appraiser wanted to look at our house on Tuesday, so we were doing the frantic house cleaning thing Monday night. Tuesday was grocery shopping and dealing with a sick preschooler, and today, I had to return the behemoth grill that I had borrowed for the Sunday event, which meant a trip up north. Tomorrow, well, who knows?

I'd like to issue a scathing edict against the Republicans in the Senate for not caring about what We the People think about immigration. I know Bush doesn't listen to polls, but these aren't polls: The American people have very strong feelings about illegal immigration and controlling our borders, but that don't seem to interest our public servants.

Bummer. Stuff like this inspires me to apathy. I just don't seem to have the strength to write any checks to the party coffers.

This last Sunday I manned a grill for The 3rd Annual Wild Game Dinner, Concert and Revival at Horizons Community Church in Ham Lake, MN. It was an event put on by their hunting and fishing ministry. They had a silent auction and one of the items up for bidding was a brand new shot gun.

It was interesting watching people pick up this shot gun, in a crowded room (over 400 people showed up) and see if it fit. Men, women, and children were pulling it up to their shoulders and giving it a try. Nobody scampered away scared. No one grabbed their kids and tried to instill fear of guns into them. There were also hunting knives, bows and arrows up for grabs. Lot's of artwork with tasty woodland creatures displayed. There were no "Guns Banned on Premise" signs here.

I met some pretty decent folks there this weekend. Though not my regular church home, and a little bigger than I care for, I'd encourage someone living in the north metro to check them out.