Surly's Soap Box

Cathy, of Cathy in the Wright, posted a pretty lame 'adult' joke the other day. It was near violent, with all it's finger waging and pointing, yelling and demanding. And emasculating.

I shall fisk it:

Adult Joke - Not For My Nephews

The husband had just finished reading a new book, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.

At least the husband character is allowed the ability to read! But he's emasculated from the beginning by having to read a book that gives him permission to be a man.

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.

She was in the kitchen? Well, that's refreshing! A woman in the kitchen.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

Once again, the male is played out as the bumbling, sex obsessed idiot. And with his demand for dessert, it's implied he's fat! Does every man have to be portrayed as Jim Belushi? You know he's going to get slammed!


His wife replied, "The f*ckin funeral director would be my guess."

See! The woman was made out to be a dominating, err, well, you know. And the 'punch-line'? You could see it a mile away.

No, no, no. A joke like this needs to be subtle. The punch-line needs to catch you by suprise, like a ninja, not pound you like a sumo. Like this one:

After the husband carried his new bride across the threashold, he gently placed her on the bed, took off his pant and tossed them to her.

"Put these on." He said.
"I can't put these on." she said, "They don't fit!"
"That's right! Now you remember who wears the pants in this family"

She thought for a second, then shimied her panties off and tossed them to him. "Put those on."
"What? They're to small!" he said, "I'll never get into them."
"That's right! And you won't get into them until you change your additude!"



Humor

I wrote a post about the blog, "Debunking Christianity" the other day. After being challenged by the creator of the blog to read one of his post, I spent some time looking around.

One thing that shocked me was the comments section. People, claiming to be Christian, left some of the most childish, mean-spirited, hate-filled comments that I have ever read in a blog.

Nice job showing the love of Christ.

Boy, that sent them clamoring to return to the Church.

I was more put off by the comments of believers than by the comments made by those running the blog. All the commenters did was help them build their case of Christianity being a false religion.

When John wrote about his deconversion experience, he stated that one of his reasons for leaving the faith was: "...minus a sense of a loving, caring, Christian community". Well, these people are certainly enforcing the notion of a loving community, huh?

A loving and caring community is vital for the church and people of the church to flourish. There must be grace towards people's short comings, mercy towards their failings, encouragement to approach the future with holiness, a celebration of any and all forward motion people make in their lives, and support when there is struggle.

It's been said that the Christian army is the only army that shoots it's own wounded. I don't wonder why some people leave.

I ran across a sad little blog today: Debunking Christianity.

This Blog has been created for the express purpose of debunking Evangelical Christianity. We are all ex-Christians. Most of us are ex-ministers, and even ex-apologists for the Christian faith. We are now freethinkers, skeptics, agnostics, and atheists. With the diversity of our combined strengths, we seek to debunk Christianity.

It's typically bitter. At first I was tempted to engage in debate, but you can't debate against emotions.

I have met people like this before, and I have come to believe that they are not 'back sliden', but the never had a true relationship to begin with. Sure, they may have been pastors and such, but if you're a good public speaker with the right training, you can pull off a sermon, even lead people, but that doesn't necessarily make you a Christian. For what ever reasons, they entered in to ministry, then left.

I think that Revelations 3:16 speaks hope into this situation: So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. They aren't hot, they aren't luke warm: They are decidedly cold. So God hasn't 'spit them out'. He still has room to work in their lives. They have made their position clear, and gives a platform to work with. Being cold is much better than being in the Church and 'having a form of Godliness but denying the power'.

And then there is the old saying, "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." I could hammer on them, but only the Spirit driven word will have any real affect.



Christianity

Ya know, memes are a good way to see who really reads your blog! You can post a meme, tag someone, and then excitedly wait to see how they respond. And wait. And...wait.

But I can't leave the NightWriter waiting. Besides, he's one of the few, elite readers of this blog. He is one of the ones that realize reading Surly's Soap Box is like getting a daily dose of antioxidants: It's good for you, but nobody can explain exactly why.

So...What sitcom character do I wish I were? (and Iron Chef is not a sitcom)

As far as television chefs go, I can't be Giada De Laurentiis because, well,...

I just can't smile like that. And she's not particularly amusing.

I took a look at the British as well, and considered BlackAdder (of the WWI "Blackadder Goes Forth" series) but there was that running into German machine gun fire thing.

I considered the "Soup Nazi" of Seinfeld fame, but he was a minor character.

So the obvious choice for me was: Gordon Shumway, otherwise known as Alf. Being an alien would explain away a bunch of bizarre behavior. I'd take a pass on eating cats, though.

I, in keeping with the spirit on memes, tag the following three: Doug Bass, Bogus Doug, and hhmmm, TKls2myhrt over at Katie's Beer.

In Yellowstone, as well as other national and state parks, there are numerous signs proclaiming, "Do not feed the bears." Why? Well, the bears get lazy and quit looking for food. They end up hanging around the main roads and gathering place because there are a bunch of tourist with tasty treats.

Or, in a pinch, there are a bunch of tasty tourist.

It appears that Orlando is having a similar problem with their homeless population, and it seems that Orlando is taking there cue from the park system by instituting a, "Do not feed the homeless" policy.

Are they going to issue tickets and impose fines for feeding the homeless?

If you have particularly insistent or obnoxious homeless people, will they be shot with tranquillizer darts and relocated?

Wait a minute! That could add a whole new spin on the tourist industry! I can see guided tours where the rich are riding in the back of one of those safari trucks, driving through the parts of town where the homeless hang out, tranquillizer gun laid across the roof of the cab.

For an extra cost, you could use a helicopter!

What a way to wrap up a weekend at Disney.

YOU CALL YOURSELF PINEAPPLE! JUST LOOK AT YOU IN YOUR CAN WITH SOME BLUE AND GOLD WRAPPER! FROM HAWAII MY ASS! YOU THINK YOUR EVER GOING TO AMOUNT TO ANYTHING? DO YOU THINK YOUR GONNA MAKE INTO THIS CAKE? DO YA? DO YA? I DON'T THINK YOUR GOOD ENOUGH!

AND NO! YOU CAN'T DATE MY DAUGHTER.

I was just wondering how they do it. You know...crushing pineapple. I just thought it would be like 8th grade gym class.

This from the Pioneer Press

Vandals broke into Oltman Junior High School in St. Paul Park early Sunday and trashed five classrooms, pouring paint on computers, spray-painting walls and smashing electronics. Early estimates put the damage at about $100,000.

Two students — a 13- and a 15-year-old boy — were arrested Monday in connection with the damage. The teenagers had just finished eighth and ninth grades, respectively, at the school.

St. Paul Park Police Chief Mike Monahan said the intruders broke a window to enter the school's art room, where they obtained paint supplies. Inside, they spray-painted walls, including with obscenities; dumped paint on computers; discharged fire extinguishers; smashed VCRs and phones; and threw at least one overhead projector to the floor.

"They just trashed the rooms," Monahan said. "It was every color of the rainbow."

Someone also smashed the glass of a vending machine and stole candy.

Barbara Brown, communications director for South Washington County Schools, said about five rooms and nearby hallways were vandalized.

Monahan said one of the boys who was apprehended recently had a dispute with a teacher on or near the last day of school, which was June 1.

"There may have been a revenge issue here," he said.

A fire alarm alerted authorities to the break-in about 4:15 a.m. Sunday. Monahan said particles from the fire extinguishers might have set off the smoke detectors.

The damage to equipment was worth about $28,000, with the rest of the cost expected to come from replacing the vending machine and repairing rooms and hallways damaged by the paint and contents from the fire extinguisher, school officials said.

Brown said it's unclear how long it will take to clean up the school. Some summer school classes started Monday, she said, but they went on uninterrupted.

The students involved could face disciplinary action from the school district, Brown said.

"These are definitely grounds for expulsions in our district," she said.

Yup. Caning: 3 apiece for the little bastards, 1 for each parent. Just a thought.

Caning, Vandalism,

Out-rage at Soft Justice

By GEORGE PASCOE-WATSON
Political Editor, and JOHN COLES

THE scandal over Britain’s soft justice system — as highlighted by The Sun — took an astonishing new twist last night.

It was revealed that FIFTY-THREE criminals sentenced to life since 2000 have been released.

The shocking disclosure came as a furious dad backed our campaign against soft judges after the paedophile who kidnapped and abused his little daughter was told he could be free in five years.

The figures released last night by the Home Office mean some lifers served at most just over SIX YEARS for the most serious crimes, which are likely to have included killings and rapes.

It is believed one of the 53 lifers was freed after serving less than 15 months.

Shadow Home Secretary David Davis said: “It is a condemnation of the dishonesty of the Government’s penal policy that so many so-called life terms have expired in less than six years.

“This Government continues to talk tough on crime and act soft on criminals and in doing so irresponsibly puts the public at risk.”

Incredibly, one convicted lag was released on licence, then sent back to jail, only to be set free AGAIN.

Junior Home Office Minister Gerry Sutcliffe revealed the details answering a written Parliamentary question.

There was no Commons statement about the releases, despite Home Secretary John Reid portraying himself as an “enforcer” determined to get all the problems out in the open.

Mr Sutcliffe said that the criteria for releasing the 53 prisoners was that they had served their minimum term or tariff and risk to the public was “acceptable”.

He did not reveal the crimes of the 53 but Mr Reid will be under pressure today to come clean over the extent of the shambles.

Separate figures revealed that 23 prisoners jailed for life were now on the run after being freed on licence. A further 600 were being hunted after cutting off their electronic tags.

Pervert Craig Sweeney, 24, was jailed for life by Judge John Griffith Williams on Monday for snatching and sexually assaulting a three-year-old girl — but was told he could apply for parole in just over five years.

The sentence at Cardiff Crown Court came on the day we launched our crusade to weed out weak judges.

The girl’s 35-year-old dad said yesterday: “I back The Sun’s campaign totally. This man has destroyed my family but he could be out of prison before my daughter leaves primary school.

“If ever there was a crime where life should mean life, this is it. Judges should be accountable to the public.”

He spoke as PM Tony Blair added his support for our campaign.

Sick Sweeney, 24, who had been freed early after another child sex crime, took the girl from her Cardiff home and subjected her to a three-hour nightmare during which he assaulted her three times.

The girl’s mother, 34, said: “He ruined our lives for ever. She’s been through hell and will never be the same again.”

Meanwhile, it was revealed last night that a serial child sex abuser could be freed from prison just FIVE WEEKS after he was convicted of molesting a four-year-old girl.

Judge Daniel Worsley called Richard Bruce’s crimes “low level” and caged him for just 27 months.

Bruce, 25, had admitted a string of sex attacks on children. But he has been in custody since his arrest last year and with good behaviour could soon be back on the streets.

Mr Blair’s backing for our campaign was revealed by a Cabinet source with close ties to the PM.

The source said: “He believes he is where the public are on the issue of sentencing. He thinks judges have to be aware of the impact of it on the wider community. If people stop having respect for the punishments handed out, it is a massive own goal.”

Last night the grandfather of a 12-week-old girl raped by monsters Alan Webster and Tanya French accused the sentencing panel and judges of “giving carte blanche to paedophiles”.

Webster had his six-year minimum sentence increased by two years by the Appeal Court, who did not change French’s five-year term.

The grandad said: “If and when paedophiles get caught, they just have to plead guilty straight away and end up doing the sort of sentences these two are doing. Then there’s a great possibility of being released pretty quick, come back out and do the thing again.”

News and Politics

I am shocked, SHOCKED I say, that the good, honest upright people of New Orleans would take advantage of FEMA. Oh, that's right, the good, honest upright people didn't. Just a whole bunch of dishonest people did.

Houston divorce lawyer Mark Lipkin says he can't recall anyone paying for his services with a FEMA debit card, but congressional investigators say one of his clients did just that.

The $1,000 payment was just one example cited in an audit that concluded that up to $1.4 billion - perhaps as much as 16 percent of the billions of dollars in assistance expended after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita - was spent for bogus reasons.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency also was hoodwinked to pay for season football tickets, a tropical vacation and a sex change operation, the audit found. Prison inmates, a supposed victim who used a New Orleans cemetery for a home address and a person who spent 70 days at a Hawaiian hotel all were able to get taxpayer help, according to evidence that gives a new black eye to the nation's disaster relief agency.

Now wait. A new black eye? FEMA isn't a investigative service. It's a resource distributor. Could you imagine the outrage if FEMA would have actually taken the time to check everyone out? They where under pressure to dole out the money, and were forced to trust that people would do with it what they were supposed to do.

"I do Katrina victims all the time," Lipkin, the divorce attorney, told The Associated Press. "I didn't know anybody did that with me. I don't think it's right, obviously."

Government Accountability Office officials were testifying before a House committee Wednesday on their findings.

Rep. Michael McCaul, R-Texas, chairman of the subcommittee overseeing an investigation of post-hurricane aid, called the bogus spending "an assault on the American taxpayer."

Hey, New Orleans has been assaulting, and insulting, the American taxpayer for years!

"Prosecutors from the federal level down should be looking at prosecuting these crimes and putting the criminals who committed them in jail for a long time," he said.

To dramatize the problem, investigators provided lawmakers with a copy of a $2,358 U.S. Treasury check for rental assistance that an undercover agent received using a bogus address. The money was paid even after FEMA learned from its inspector that the undercover applicant did not live at the address.

FEMA spokesman Aaron Walker said Tuesday that the agency, already criticized for a poor response to Katrina, makes its highest priority during a disaster "to get help quickly to those in desperate need of our assistance."

"Even as we put victims first, we take very seriously our responsibility to be outstanding stewards of taxpayer dollars, and we are careful to make sure that funds are distributed appropriately," Walker said.

FEMA said it has identified more than 1,500 cases of potential fraud after Katrina and Rita and has referred those cases to the Homeland Security Department's inspector general. The agency said it has identified $16.8 million in improperly awarded disaster relief money and has started efforts to collect the money.

Right. Blood from a turnip.

The GAO said it was 95 percent confident that improper and potentially fraudulent payments were much higher _ between $600 million and $1.4 billion.

The investigative agency said it found people lodged in hotels often were paid twice, since FEMA gave them individual rental assistance and paid hotels directly. FEMA paid California hotels $8,000 to house one individual - the same person who received three rental assistance payments for both disasters.

In another instance, FEMA paid an individual $2,358 in rental assistance, while at the same time paying about $8,000 for the same person to stay 70 nights at more than $100 per night in a Hawaii hotel.

FEMA also could not establish that 750 debit cards worth $1.5 million even went to Katrina victims, the auditors said.

Among the items purchased with the cards:

_An all-inclusive, one-week Caribbean vacation in the Punta Cana resort in the Dominican Republic.

_Five season tickets to New Orleans Saints professional football games.

_Adult erotica products in Houston and "Girls Gone Wild" videos in Santa Monica, Calif.

_Dom Perignon champagne and other alcoholic beverages in San Antonio.

"Our forensic audit and investigative work showed that improper and potentially fraudulent payments occurred mainly because FEMA did not validate the identity of the registrant, the physical location of the damaged address, and ownership and occupancy of all registrants at the time of registration," GAO officials said.

FEMA paid millions of dollars to more than 1,000 registrants who used names and Social Security numbers belonging to state and federal prisoners for expedited housing assistance. The inmates were in Louisiana, Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and Florida.

FEMA made about $5.3 million in payments to registrants who provided a post office box as their damaged residence, including one who got $2,748 for listing an Alabama post office box as the damaged property.

The GAO told of an individual who used 13 different Social Security numbers - including the person's own - to receive $139,000 in payments on 13 separate registrations for aid. All the payments were sent to a single address.

I have family in Houston who lament opening their arms to Katrina 'victims'. They have a saying there: "Katrina came and washed all the trash out of New Orleans, now they need to have another hurricane come and wash the trash back." The crime and murder rates have skyrocketed. I think that after all this time, you can see who really is interested in overcoming their hardship. I'm sure there are people who have moved on, started planting new roots in new communities, rebuilding their lives and families.

But there are also those who are sitting in their moldy houses, doing nothing but complaining that nobody is helping them clean up. Or rather, complaining that nobody is cleaning up for them. Unless they are demonstrating that they are making an effort to move on, it's time to cut them loose.


New Orleans, FEMA, Lazy, Dishonest, Lying, Cheating Bums

I have returned from Nebraska, the place where college football is worshiped, corn is king, "Republican" means "Democrat", and "Democrat" means "Commie".

Sweeter Half comes from the land were the letter "N" on the University Campus stands for "(k)nowledge". In fact, you see Red flags (commies?) with the white "N" everywhere. For a couple years I though it was the state flag until I drove by the capital with the in-laws and asked, "What's that flag?"

A trip to Nebraska means checking your diet at the door. Diabetic? Bring extra insulin. Hypertension? Pass the salt and avoid political and religious discussion.

Over all, it was a good trip. More later.

9/28/2005
So You Think You Want a Revolution...?

I've also seen - and I wish I hadn't - that the revolution, when it's carried out seriously and succeeds, brings forms of injustice and oppression even more abominable than the current ones. I've seen those new forms of injustice and oppression in the eyes and the words of the most sincere, hardest working, most loyal revolutionary leaders. They feel themselves messianic saviors, avatars of history; they think they know my interests, my wishes, my needs, better than I do; they don't consult me or listen to me; they've struck off on their own as my representatives, as vanguards in my struggle; they are paternalist tutors; they pre-configure today that future Olympus where they will make all decisions for my well-being and my progress; they'll make the decisions and they'll impose them on me in my name, through fire and blood in my name.

J.M. Briceno Guerrero

I was going to post on the Castro/Chavez/Carter/Jackson/Sheehan connection, but I ran across this quote through the Caracas Chronicles, an excellent commentary on the rise of communist thug Hugo Chaves. His words should ring an alarm to those who would have a socialist government/revolution here in the United States: Be carefull what you ask for.

9/10/2005
Sometimes you've gotta' give 'em a buck.

12/20/2005
What the...? Mexico mad because we don't want unchecked migration?

MEXICO CITY - The Mexican government, angered by a U.S. proposal to extend a wall along the border to keep out migrants, has struck back with radio ads urging Mexican workers to denounce rights violations in the United States. Facing a growing tide of anti-immigrant sentiment north of the border, the Mexican government is also hiring an American public relations firm to improve its image.



So, the Mexican government has money to throw around on public relations firms, but not enough to hire honest cops to chase corruption out of their government.

It's hard to underestimate the ill-feeling the proposal has generated in Mexico, where editorial pages are dominated by cartoons of Uncle Sam putting up walls bearing anti-Mexican messages.



Like what anti-Mexican messages? No Trespassing? If "No Trespassing" is a racist slur against Mexicans, then every farmer from here to the Dakota's is a racist S.O.B.

Fernando Robledo, 42, of the western state of Zacatecas, says the proposals could stem migration and disrupt families by breaking cross- border ties.

"When people heard this, it worried everybody, because this will affect everybody in some way, and their families," Robledo said. "They were incredulous. How could they do this, propose something like this?"



So...Is border jumping (BREAKING THE LAW!) such a part of the Mexican lifestyle that we jeopardizing their way of life? We are ruining their families by closing up the border? Even though they break the law, we should let them just come and go as they please? What's next, are they going to protest locks on doors?

He said many Mexicans felt betrayed by the anti-immigrant sentiment.



Excuse me: It's an anti-illegal immigrant sentiment.

"We learned to believe in the United States. We have a binational life," he said of Zacatecas, a state that has been sending migrants north for more than a century. "It isn't just a feeling of rejection. It's against what we see as part of our life, our culture, our territory."



Our Territory? The Mexican territory ends at the Rio Grande, buddy. This is the United States. If you want to live here, drop the 'binational' crap. If you don't like the way it is in Mexico, VOTE! Stop putting up with corrupt government. If you want to be here, do it the right way. File the paperwork. From what I understand, it's easier than most people realize.

The sense of dread connected with the measures is hardly restricted to Mexico. Immigrant advocacy and aid groups in the United States are worried about provisions of the House bill that upgrade unlawful presence in the United States from a civil offense to a felony.

"This is a sad foreshadowing," said immigrants rights activist Kathryn Rodriguez of the Derechos Humanos coalition in Tucson, Ariz. She fears the bill could expose those who help sick or dying migrants to criminal prosecution.

The House bill, passed on a 239-182 vote, would also enlist military and local law enforcement to help stop illegal entrants and require employers to verify the legal status of their workers.

Mexicans are outraged by the proposed measures, especially the extension of the border wall, which many liken to the Berlin Wall. Some are urging their government to fight it fiercely.

"Our president should oppose that wall and make them stop it, at all costs," said Martin Vazquez, 26, at the Mexico City airport as he returned from his job as a hotel worker in Las Vegas. "More than just insulting, it's terrible."



What do these people want? Is it so terrible that we don't want people wandering across our border when ever they please? Is it to much to ask that we want to know they are here and where they are? If you ask me, those who don't want to go through the paperwork and the system are suspect enough to be kept out. And kicked out.

posted by Surly Dave at 12/20/2005 05:36:00 PM

1/10/2006
Mexico Demands U.S. Allow More Immigration

Ya' know, the Mexican government has no spine what so ever. Stalin murdered and imprisoned all of his totally broke uneducated poor, politically incorrect ethnic groups, and criminals. So did Mao, Pol Pot, Mugabi, and a host of other despots. The Brits have there own dark history of dealing with the poor and non-British, and the US has had it's moments.

But the Mexican government, they don't even have the basic male body parts to do any of that. No, they look to the United States weak underbelly (it's porous borders, ineffectual catch-and-release immigration policies, and it's bleeding heart liberal politicians) and expect us to be a net to catch all of their refuse.

They whine about the U.S. wanting to control our borders as being inhumane because it separates families, but the real issue is that illegal immigration is the second largest industry in Mexico.

Mexicans working in the United States are a huge source of revenue for Mexico, sending home more than $16 billion in remittances in 2004, Mexico's second largest source of foreign currency after oil exports according to the country's central bank.



It's to bad that these poor are caught in the grip of a government system that is pretty much geared to keep them poor. Wait, that's what we call welfare!

Aguilar (V. Fox's spokesman) also said migrants "don't emigrate because they lack work, but rather for a series of other reasons, cultural reasons or better living conditions."



Yes. Other reasons. Lack of oppression. Opportunity. Better living Conditions.

I'm heading off to Lincoln, Nebraska this weekend to visit the in-laws this week end. Good thing I got some blood pressure medication, because hanging out with retired railroad union socialist and hardcore lefties gets me worked up. I need to swing by the DNC website to check out what kind of crap I'm going to have to listen to for the next few days. It kind of bums me out the way they have no independent thought! Kool Aid drinkers the lot.

But the good thing is the reason for going: My wife's grandmas. One turns 85, the other 90. One is a tough old bird who like margaritas and keeps a bottle of whiskey hidden in the broom closet, the other a Covenanter with deep roots in the church and pastors all through her family. I like them both.

While I'm gone, I'm going to rerun some of my better stuff from my old blog. It's a chance to move it on over here.

Well, Well, well. Scientology is trying to make inroads into middle America via NASCAR. I didn't think the average NASCAR fan fit the demographic: Rich and Stupid. I thought NASCAR fans only fit half that statistic.

Tom Cruise came to Charlotte in 1989 to film "Days Of Thunder." Little did we know that someday his idealogy would come zooming back to NASCAR as a sponsor.

Racin' fans, brace yourselves for some couch-jumping news: Scientology is ridin' shotgun.

A No. 27 red Taurus emblazoned with "DIANETICS" and featuring the volcano from the cover of L. Ron Hubbard's book has been tearing around California's Irwindale Speedway.

(No word on whether the car can fix itself; Cruise recently bragged that wife Katie Holmes needed no anti-depressants for her post-partum depression.)

NASCAR is decidedly reluctant to comment on scientology's sponsorship. "This has generated a lot of interest the past few days," NASCAR PR man Scott Warfield tells me. Not surprisingly, he didn't want to say much more. "It's not really something we want to comment on. It's a minor league, small-team sponsorship deal."

Yes, and it's also the weirdest sponsorship since Boudreaux's Butt Paste, the diaper-rash cream that began sponsoring a Busch Series car in 2005.

Driver Kenton Gray, of La Verne, Calif., will drive the DIANETCS car Saturday in its official debut in a NASCAR Weekly Series race in Irwindale.

Gray spouts Scientology praise with enthusiasm that would make the celebrity couple known as TomKat proud:

"'Dianetics' is a book that helped me in many ways since I first read it many years ago. It helped me get better control over the obstacles I had to get through to reach goals I was passionate about. It's a great honor to have a sponsor relationship that's so directly related to my making it this far." (In a truly bizarre scene in March, Gray appeared at the Irwindale track with the voice of Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright.)

The publisher of "Dianetics" is also putting together a Web site called dianeticsracing.com.

The Jehovah's Witnesses could not be reached for comment about any possible NASCAR sponsorship.

Photos of car, driver and voice of Bart Simpson at http://www.fmgracing.com/

For Surly's own experience with Scientology, click here.


Scientology, NASCAR,Inbreeding, Ignorant Rich Celebrities,Cults

Last night while I was tooling around the local Target store, I stuck my arm into one of those automatic blood pressure testing machines and HOLY CATS CALL THE AMBULANCE!

Well, not quite, but the result scared me. Scared me enough that I went to the clinic this morning were the Doctor informed me I was a "stroke waiting to happen".

So I had an EKG and a bunch of other tests with more on the horizon.

And, of course, medication.

It's a good thing that in the last few months I've started getting a handle on my health: Consistently working out, eating better, the usual stuff. I was planning on getting a physical sometime 'soon', but this really forced my hand.

Now I'm at home because they don't want me driving until I see what the meds do to me.

Yea!

Of course it's better than the alternative.

This is the result of Democratic policy:

MOGADISHU (Reuters) - Scores of Somali residents fled the warlord stronghold of Jowhar on Wednesday fearing a bloody offensive for control of the town by Islamic militia who took Mogadishu two days ago.

Gunmen loyal to sharia courts seized the capital on Monday from a self-styled anti-terrorism coalition of warlords, widely believed to be backed by Washington. Their victory came after fierce fighting that had killed 350 people since February.

Do we want to abandon the Iraqis to this? Just wondering.



Iraq, Islam

I just realized how dependent I am on Blogrolling. With out my blogrolls, I'm lost in my surfing. I think I'll have to start adding my favorites right to my template.

Bummer.

Update: Hmmm. Just like that it's up and running again.

I showed up Sunday morning with two complete sermons: One on why the church needs vision, and one on "The Prodigal Son". During worship, I kept going back and forth on which to share. Eventually, I ended up sharing the high points of each. Essentially, it boiled to this: Our church needs to have vision, and everyone needs to walk in the gifts and talents God has given them.

The Church, as in the Bride of Christ, the Church Universal, has three purposes:


1. Ministry to God (Worship)
2. Ministry to the Believers (Nurture)
3. Ministry to the World (Evangelism and Mercy)

Vision is the individual churches expression of these purposes.

As far as The Prodigal Son goes, my 'bent' on the story was that there were people in our congregation that had been given gifts and visions from God, but had 'squandered' them by either not using them (for what ever reasons) or that the had used them, but stopped (for what ever reason).

Gifts, spiritual gifts, are given to individuals for building up the church. They weren't given to people for their sake, but for the Church's sake, and to withhold them was, well, sin.

But God the Father, as characterized by the Father in the parable, is anxious for their return, waiting for them to repent, and restore them.

And where our local church is at right now, we need everyone to step up in what God has gifted them in and called them to.

Some time down the road I'll post my notes.

Christianity, Sermon,

Today, I sit in front of my computer, preparing a sermon on "Why does the Church need Vision?". This is the first sermon in a series of messages defining the Purpose, Vision and Values of our body of believers. Purpose, Vision, and Values are the theme of the summer as we regroup and redirect after our pastor leaving.

I have lots of resource available to me: Numerous books, Internet, Software, Bible. I've scoured over Systematic Theologies. I've discussed at length, reasoning these things out, even coming up with "The 10 Reasons why a Church needs a Vision" list. But I was forgetting something: Prayer.

When I first started praying about the message, God put a specific scripture passage on my heart: The Parable of the Lost Son. At first I balked. "Why this passage? I don't think we are dealing with back sliders here." But it wasn't the 'back sliding' that was the issue. It was the Father's heart. The parable shows how much the Father loves those who are lost and have turned away from Him.

It's interesting how a slight change of perspective can alter your understanding. I was focusing on, "Whose backsliden?" to, "How great the Love...".

So, as what usually happens when I preach, much to the chagrin of my better organized friends, I find myself changing course in midstream. Again.

More later.

The problem is...

...I have this really big head! I don't know how my scrawny neck holds this massive cranium of mine upright. And the head aches you get with a freakishly large head like this? I have this pounding headache that's like bombs going off! Sometimes I can't think straight! Doesn't anybody in this god-forsaken country have a FREAKIN' ASPIRIN! I'm gonna nuke somebody if I don't get a freakin' aspirin right freakin' now!



Iran

Ray Nagin doesn't quite understand that the majority of people in NOLA are doing just what they have always done: Wait for someone else to take care of them. Hey, it's a free-loading, corrupt, Socialist-Democrat strong hold. The only way things are going to change is if the demographic changes.

My question is, who's going to bail them out this year when the hurricanes hit?


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