Surly's Soap Box

I've recently taken to wearing a kilt. My wife thinks it's some sort of midlife crisis, but I tell her that's what the motorcycle was for.

No crisis. No gender identity issues. Just a celebration of my heritage and a statement about my affinity to Celtic Christianity. Not the freaky, earth worshiping, new age version that many would like it to be, but the monastic, Christ-centered, community based variety . But more on that down the road.

So I've worn my kilt, or rather, one of my kilts (I have two), out and about. I've gone shopping, gone to the doctor, visited friends, worn one to church a couple times. I've dressed up, and I've worn just a t-shirt. The reaction has, over all been positive. I've had folks come up to my wife and tell her handsome I am (and that's not a compliment I hear often!), and I've received a few questioning and disapproving glances. But you know, I'm having fun, and my wife and daughter enjoy it as well. Of course, the Wife wasn't sure at first, but when strangers make positive comments, well, she's come around.

When I decide to buy a kilt, I did a lot of research. Much to my surprise, there are a few kilt distributors here in the Twin Cities area:

Stillwater Kilts
The Celtic Croft
The Frugal Corner

Who would of thought there was interest in such things here in the land of Swedes and Lutefisk! I'm sure haggis won't be replacing lutefisk at the Christmas table, but there seems to be a lot of interest in things Celtic. We have the Renaissance Festival(slow loading), Minnesota Scottish Fair, Irish Fair, St. Andrews Society. There are even a few bars that host Kilt Nights, where you get a free beer just for showing up in a kilt! It might take a while, but I could eventually recoup the money I spent on the kilts and accessories with what I save on beer! So every time I go, I just tell my wife that I'm paying off my kilt!

There is actually a large number of guys (and a number of large guys) out there wearing kilts, and not just to the Highland Games. I found this forum, X Marks The Scot that offers tons of information and advice to those who don the kilt.

One of the reasons I wrote this post is to show you this:


Yup. That's Alton Brown wearing a kilt. Cool, huh?

Here's Samuel Jackson:



That is all.

Scruffy goatee. Collar turned up. Funky glasses. Mall diva and the Rev. Mother dubbed me EuroTrash, while Ben calls it "Sophisticated French", which is an oxymoron.

I could almost pass myself off as one of those hippy preachers, but my shirt wasn't made 100% natural fibers. Plus, the white t-shirt and suspenders probably disqualify me. And the shower. (rim shot).

I took some time off Saturday to go down to Keagan's and catch up with some friends. Unfortunately, I was stressing big time about other commitments, so I only stayed for about an hour and took off. Fortunately, I had a chance to catch up with not only to folks mentioned above, but King David and Mocha Mama, and I got to meet Gabrielle.

All wonderful people who I wish I had more time to get to know. Hopefully things will slow down for me soon, and I'll have a chance to catch up.

That would be Princess Flicker Feather. I was unaware that she had tagged me with a meme back in April, and because I am generally polite to young ladies, I wouldn't want to exasperate her. So I break blogging silence (with no guarantees of returning to regular posting) to insure she doesn't become traumatized.

A- Available or Single?
Neither.

B- Best Friend.
My Wife.

C- Cake or Pie.
Cake.

D- Drink of Choice.
Earl Grey in the morning, water in the afternoon, something adult in the evening.

E- Essential Item.
Books. Bible in particular.

F- Favorite Color.
Green.

G- Gummi Bears or Worms.
Bears, if I had to eat them.

H- Hometown.
New Brighton, MN

I- Indulgence.
Lamb. $50.00 bottle of Stags Leap Merlot. Wild mushroom risotto.

J- January or February.
January. The start of a new year.

K- Kids.
Got one. She is a joy.

L- Life is incomplete without…
God, family, and fellowship.

M- Marriage Date.
1/20/2000

N- Number of Siblings?
Three brothers.

O- Oranges or Apples?
Oranges.

P- Phobias/Fears.
None that I know of. Or confess.

Q- Favorite Quote.
"A man forced against his will is of the same opinion still", and "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

R- Reasons to smile.
My Daughter. That covers about a million reasons right there.

S- Season.
Spring. A time of rebirth.

T- Tag Three.
Errr...Maybe later.

U- Unknown Fact About Me.
I almost got a gig doing voice overs. They loved my voice, but I didn't know the equipment.

V– Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals.
There's a place for all of God's creatures: Right next to the mashed potatoes.

W- Worst Habit.
Babylonian Idiot Box. (TV)

X– X-rays or Ultrasounds.
What ever works best for the situation.

Y- Your Favorite Foods.
Veal Sweetbreads Fricassee.

Z- Zodiac.
Sorry. I don't practice witchcraft.

If you got here, it's because you are creative and think outside the box, because the link on the Post doesn't work!

The post you are looking for is here. Have fun, look around, enjoy!

Sorry for the porn sounding title, but at least 18 people surfed their way here to the Soap Box looking for just that.

Or it's possible they where looking for an Ann Coulter quote in the comments: I watched The View once. The "hosts" were trying to shock Ann Coulter (a professing Christian) by asking her "when was the last time you watched two women make love to each other?". In a half a heart beat, Ms. Coulter replied "Just yesterday, on TV, when I watched Katy Couric interview Hillary Clinton"...

I had this tree in the back yard that had cracked and was posing a threat to the life and property of my neighbor. It was hung up against another tree, and I was fearful that the next big wind storm, ice storm, or heavy snow would send that sucker crashing through her roof.

I called the insurance company, but they wouldn't help out because it hadn't actually destroyed anything yet. The neighbors insurance wouldn't do anything because it was my tree. On top of that, the power lines ran right through the center of it.

The lowest quote I got from any of the local tree services was $2000. Until today.

There was a bucket truck and crew scouring the area looking for work. I caught them out on the street and asked how much it would cost to take that tree down.

$350.

I couldn't pass it up. So I ran to the bank to get cash, but my cash card would only let me pull $300. That's my daily limit, and I didn't have the check book. I ran back to the house and the guys were already loping off limbs. I stopped the foreman and told him I didn't have the full amount, so stop at the $300 mark. So now I have 10 feet of tree sticking out of the ground that is safe, and the money I saved bought me a new lap top!

At least that's how I'm justifing it.

New lap top? Yup. I bought a mid-line Compaq. I've been happy with the Compaq I have, and the wife uses on for work that she likes, so go with what you know.

My old Compaq Presario is dying. The hardware isn't supported anymore. The software requires updating but the hardware can't handle it. Today, I received three "blue screens of death": Something about memory parity and hardware failure. Of course, you can't find memory for this old thing anymore, so it's a race against time.

But I can't complain. I know many people who have gone through 3 or 4 different computers since we bought this one. After all, it's close to 5 years old! That's like 100 hundred in human years!

So now the search begins. I'd like to get a laptop, but practicality points towards desk top. After all, I don't really go anywhere that I need to drag along a computer with me. At the same time, It'd be nice to kick the feet up in front of the TV and be around the family while working on sermons, blogging, and such. I'm not a gamer, so that's not a factor.

So let the search begin. Any advise?

This is one of those post that don't really have any real point. Just me babbling about messenger bags and basses. I doubt it will have any impact on your life or cause you to change your opinion in any way. It will not challenge you.

Well, I took the plunge: I purchased a 'messenger bag' this last week. It was not a decision easily arrived at, but for the sake of organization (not one of my strong suits), I had to do it.

I didn't buy anything fancy. In fact, it was on clearance and ugly. The ugly part is good because I know when somebody says, "Nice purse", they are being sarcastic. The cheap part is good as well because I tend to be cheap when buying stuff for myself. But that doesn't mean I don't have expensive taste.

The last couple of weeks, I've been playing bass. The first instrument I took up seriously was the bass, and because we have plenty of guitar players at church, I figured I would see if adding a bass to our worship team would be a nice compliment. So I borrowed a bass from a friend and gave it a go.

I wish I would have picked one up years ago, or at least never got rid of the one I had. It was fun to play and added to the music in a positive way. Well, for the most part: My muscle memory is still set on guitar frets, so I hit some sharps now and then. Not that I'm any kind of bass virtuoso, but I think if I practice hard, I could be mediocre some day.

Alas, I had to return the borrowed bass this last Sunday, and now am in search of one to call my own. This is where I tie back into my expensive taste: I was looking at acoustic basses and ran across a Breedlove 5 string. Note the price.

Practically, my skill level doesn't warrant this type of instrument. But I want it. Financially, I can't afford it. But I want it.

Pragmatically, I will sell my electric guitar (which I hardly play) and buy a lower mid-range electric bass because I know that will fit my ability and needs rather than sporting a really fine, under utilized instrument.

So...Anybody want to buy a guitar? Got an old bass laying around that you want to get rid of?

I was totally unaware that I was the City Pages Blog of the Day back on 12.21.06.

Thanks! I think. I would have marked the day with much hoop la and celebration if I had known. I might have even put up a banner!

I actually discovered it by accident: I was over at Bogus Gold reading about futile web searchs, and that go me wondering about how people end up here. Low and behold! I found it in the external referers.

Hmmm. Interesting.

The Man Purse. I know that they made the rounds with the edgy, sensative urban warrior types a few years ago, but now, they have gone main stream.

Yes. Target is now carrying man purses as accesories, right next to the belts and wallets.

Now, here is the quandry: I have a bunch of note books and stuff that I cart around for church business. Unfortunatly, they never seem to occuppy the same space at the same time, so I always end up at meetings unprepared, and then end up forgetting to do stuff I commited to. Not the big stuff, but the little, like sending out emails or forgetting to schedule stuff.

So I got to thinking that I should get all this stuff together in one useful transportation device, and my pick-up is not a useful transportation device when it comes to going into, say, Caribou. So I looked at some 'brief bags' and brief cases and they didn't really fit my needs...

...but the man purse?

I think a back pack will have to do.

Ya know, David, if ya wanted to engage in legitimate dialog and enjoy the spirit and fun of discourse that is prevalent in blogging, we could have fun taking jabs at each other and all that. We don't even have to agree on anything. But the fact that you are harping on one issue (taken out of context none the less) and pretty much choosing to ignore everything else that's going on here (especially recent events and the changing tone of this blog) shows that you are just being a jerk.

Emailing the contents of a post to someone to share it is one thing, but to do it to intentional cause trouble? Well, you have earned "Troll" designation. This is why I am banning your I.P. When you want to play nice, email me and I'll lift the ban. But for now, you bore me. I see people like you all the time: Basking in the glow of your computer feeling all smug, self-righteous, and oh so much smarter than everyone else. Yup, you sure pulled one over on Surly!

As far as my anonymous blogging, it's because my wife asked me to do it that way. Her job occasionally puts her out there in the public and she doesn't need to be getting any flack, particularly from somebody like you who would email a post to her or her boss just for fun.

Hey Garrison! If you stop by, I want you to know that I think you're a loon. I admire your showmanship, enjoy your radio program, but can't stand your politics. And yes, I did write a post about beating you with a golf club while both picking apart one of your asinine political commentaries and mocking a pacifist friend of mine! But surely you understand satire.

I'm beginning to think there is a conspiracy to keep me from Keagan's. It seems that if I even think about going, something comes up: Work late, sick spouse or child, the wife works late. Tonight, it was a combination of all the above.

I like my job, but I am getting tired of the overtime. These 10-12 hour days are starting to take a toll.

Then to come home to a sick wife, who had to work late.

But I am blessed with a decent job, a loving wife, and a wonderful daughter, so I shouldn't complain about trival (get it? Trival?) that I can't down to Keagan's for trivia as often as I'd like.

...sometimes they wear tinfoil hats.

I'm sorry to hear that Leo is hanging it up because some leftie thug, whose probably unemployed, sits in a dark room all day, and uses the internet as his only source social interaction and Daily Kos as his only source for information, was threatening him and his family. What a loser.

Yeah...making threats behind the veil of anonymity shows what a big man he is. I hope you get a good lawyer Leo.

By the way: Galabiyya.

I kind of feel sorry for the poor saps stuck working retail this time of year. Just think: With in the first hour of work you've heard all 12 Christmas songs over the P.A., and for the next seven you get to listen to them again. Over and over and over again. Then you get to come back and do it again tomorrow.

If they are 'fortunate' enough to have a radio station playing, they get to hear the twelve Christmas songs over and over again done by different artists. Joy!

I wonder if the amount of Christmas music one has to listen to (not wants to) is directly related to the holiday rise in suicides.

So the nest time you have to deal with the drone behind the counter or cash register, remember what they are subjected to daily for a month before the holiday.

Pamela Anderson, Kid Rock to divorce

1: Everyone passing me doing over 75 mph was yakking on a cell phone.

2: Everyone who, for no apparent reason, hit their breaks and swerved across two lanes of traffic to come to a dead stop along side the interstate was yakking on a cell phone.

3: Everyone whose cars made inexplicable little jerks, bobs, and weaves that caused everyone else on the highway to stand on their breaks and break out into a cold sweat was talking on a cell phone.

4: While cell phones have given us mobility and freedom, it is still okay to write a grocery list before going to the store.

5: While the new hands free, blue tooth(?) cell phone devices have given us mobility and freedom to use both hands while talking, it is not, nor will it every be, acceptable to keep talking will using a urinal. Really. There must be a line drawn somewhere.

Otherwise, turkey is still turkey, gravey is still gravey, and if you are ever in Lincoln, you must go to De Leon's for Mexican. They have a couple locations, but we went to the one on 27th just north of Vine. Open 24/7 and serving up some of the best Chili Rellenos to be found.

That's right, the 'stache is back. Foolishly I trimmed it last summer to satisfy some catering customers, and after months of preening (actually, none what so ever), I've got "a hirsute appendage of the upper lip, with graspable extremities".

One thing about moustaches such as this: You've got to wear them with a smile. When you frown, the handlebar hangs above your lip like on of those cheesy, fake costume ones. But when you smile, it comes to life, drawing everything together, like it is fully a part of your face. Handlebars just say happy!

Now that I have a job that has me traveling all over 'The Cities', I've met a lot of guys with some really cool 'staches. It's kind of an instant brotherhood. I'm thinking it might be time to start a Handlebar Moustache Club of Minnesota. I could make up some business card, have monthly meetings, contests, and so on.

After all, it's not like my life isn't busy enough!

Well, Sweeter Half just reminded me that I ought to be focusing on next week's sermon instead of gloating.

Not a blog. Not an event. The hyper intelligent Four year old.

Four years old. She makes me feel young and old at the same time. I think about the things I've seen in her in such a short time: The day she realized her foot was connected to her body, not just some random object that came into view on occasion. Her first belly laugh. Learning to talk as quickly as we could teach her sign language. Walking at 9 months.

Four years old. Old enough for a booster seat instead of a car seat. Preschool. Legally, she can ride on the back of a motorcycle now! (Sweeter Half? Do ya hear me?)

There are a lot of those development mile stones, but the spiritual ones leave even a deeper impact on me. There was a time not so long ago when she explained to me that Jesus lived in her heart because she believed in him and prayed to him. This isn't because we are indoctrinating her, as we seldom talk to her about salvation type issues. She just listens and takes it in. Then there is her praying when she hears an ambulance or a fire engine. Someone might be in trouble or hurt, you know. And then there is the way she beseeches God for a baby brother. "Lord, please, please, please!"

Yup, she has definitely been a blessing to me. So, instead of sitting in front of the computer all evening, we are going out to dinner. Granted, we're going to Perkins where kids eat free on Tuesdays, but she doesn't know her old man is a cheapskate.

Here is my current favorite picture of her, taken this week end while raking leaves.

I've decided to continue changing my tone rather than my name. It's kind of a hip and edgy move: People will think, "That guy sez he's 'surly', but he's not!", or, "Dave is the least surliest guy I know. What's up with the nickname?"

Hey, ya have a couple weeks of soul searching and you think about making changes. But enough of the introspection: I have a blog to tend to, and that means opinions to opine, observations to make, and stuff like that.

Gone, however, will be the Bastard Report and beating Garrison Keillor with a golf club. Well, unless he really deserves it.

I have decided to cast off my surly ways. It is getting harder and harder to write bitter sarcasm and biting satire as I delve deeper into faith issues. It's harder to make the type of sociopolitical commentary usually found and the discuss faith issues.

It is time for a change. As I stated in an earlier post, I'm going through some spiritual adjustment, and I'm not sure "surly" is the adjective I want describing me any longer.

First off, I need a new handle. Surly Dave just isn't going to do any more. And "Warm and Fuzzy Dave" (As suggested by Uncle Ben) simply won't do.

So I'm opening it up for suggestions. Got any ideas?