Raspberry Chipolte Dip
1 bottle of Raspberry Chipolte Sauce, any brand. Refrigerated. Not dressing: Sauce.
2 8oz blocks of cream cheese (Not the 'nutfetzle', low fat variety: It has a sharp, lemon flavor that doesn't work here.)
1 box Wheat Thins (Large or Small, depending on the size of your group)
Directions:
About a 1/2 hour before serving, take one of the block of cream cheese out of the 'fridge to soften up.
Put the block of cream cheese on a large round plate, then cover with Raspberry Chipolte Sauce. Not the whole bottle, but enough too coat the out side of it, probably a quarter of the bottle.
Surround with Wheat Thins. Check on it once and a while: If the sauce is disappearing, add a little more. If it goes fast, you have another block on reserve.
Watch the clock. If it's out for two hours, pitch it and build another batch. It's good food safety.
Smoked Salmon Log
16 oz (2 blocks) cream cheese, cubed and softened
8 oz smoked salmon
1 teaspoon dill (fresh preferred, dry will due, just add a little more)
1 table spoon lemon juice
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup crushed pecans
Assuming you have a food processor or stand mixer: Toss the cream cheese into the bowl of the mixer of your choice and turn it on to high.
Add the smoked salmon a little at a time. (You may want to stop half way and scrap down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula.)
Add the dill and lemon juice. Shut it down once the lemon juice is incorporated.
Taste. Does it need a little salt? Pepper? Maybe a little more dill? Be careful not to over salt.
Now, lay out some plastic wrap or parchment paper on the counter. Spoon the salmon mixture out evenly in a straight line, then pull the wrap (or paper) over the mixture and roll it out like a log. If it is to pliable, toss in the cooler for a little bit to harden it up. Once it is rounded out, roll in the crushed pecans to coat. Chill (the log, not you. But you could if you wanted to.)
Slice off 'coins' and serve with your favorite crackers (other than the 'chicken and biscuit' variety).
Watch the clock. If it's out for two hours, pitch it. We are talking fish and dairy: Not notorious for lasting long periods of time at room temp.
Swedish Meatballs
1 bag of prebaked meatballs. (Sam's and Costco have the best)
1 small jar grape jelly
1 bottle chili sauce. The classic Heinz variety.
Cook meatballs as directed.
In a small sauce pan, heat up the jelly and chili sauce.
Put meatballs in a slow cooker, crock pot, or roaster and stir in the sauce. You don't need to float the meatballs, just coat. Set the heat to low and set out a bunch of tooth pics.

Ummm, OK- you're the cook. . .