The Fish Bowl Effect. (Mercy for the wife of a preacher.)
Normally, I call for justice. A mom drops her kids off a bridge, and I call for justice: Yes, yes, sure she had mental problems, but we need to send a message that dropping kids into the water is not acceptable. Andrea Yates? Same thing. Instill it into the hearts and minds of anyone who would even consider such an atrocity that this behavior won't be tolerated by society.
Justice isn't as much a punishment for doing wrong as much as it is a social contract our government has with we, The People. Proper justice shows that they are going to protect us. Secondly, it is a deterrent to and punishment for crime.
But then Mary Winkler, the wife of a preacher comes along.
Everyone knows that she has admitted to killing her husband. There is a lot of speculation as to why. Eventually, it will all come out. There will be TV movies on all three of the major networks: One will portray her a bitter, controlling woman who wanted out, another the victim whose only way out was with the gun, and the other network will imply sexual abuse or infidelity. I won't be surprised if there was already a casting call.
Whatever the reasons are, whatever the problems they may have had, the problem was probably intensified by "The Fish Bowl Effect."
Anyone who has ever been in ministry knows what I'm talking about. Suddenly, all eyes are upon you. Every move you make is scrutinized. I've heard of cases where pastors wouldn't buy new cars until they where relocating from one church to another because they didn't want to deal with raised eyebrows of ever watching parishioners. Pastor's wives crying because somebody made a remark about the way they dressed, or the clothes their children wore. You live in a fish bowl: Every part of your life is on display for all to see. In my own life, my business partner finds it hard to believe that I preach because he's heard me swear.
The good Pastor's family must be perfect. The kids must be totally behaved. The wife must be the perfect host, docile and serving.
Any problems in the family must be locked up behind closed doors, away from everyone. There can't be any hint of disunity. They must be totally holy and Godly. And if the Pastor was driven and controlling, who knows how far he may have went to keep everything and everyone in line. And a wife, who was a pastor's kid, who has probably lived under a microscope all of her life, may have felt there was only one way out.
I can only imagine the situation, but I have the feeling that I have imagined it well.
I just want to encourage people to remember that ministers, pastors, preachers and their families human beings. They have taken on a special task of being ministers the the Body of Christ. They are not super human: They struggle with the same issues everyone else struggles with, and often pick up part of the struggle for the people in their care. They deserve focused grace, mercy, prayer, and support.
As for Mary Winkler, I pray that the justice system will deal with her wisely. This is the best way I can pray to ensure that mercy and justice are given out.
Christianity, Current Affairs
Justice isn't as much a punishment for doing wrong as much as it is a social contract our government has with we, The People. Proper justice shows that they are going to protect us. Secondly, it is a deterrent to and punishment for crime.
But then Mary Winkler, the wife of a preacher comes along.
Everyone knows that she has admitted to killing her husband. There is a lot of speculation as to why. Eventually, it will all come out. There will be TV movies on all three of the major networks: One will portray her a bitter, controlling woman who wanted out, another the victim whose only way out was with the gun, and the other network will imply sexual abuse or infidelity. I won't be surprised if there was already a casting call.
Whatever the reasons are, whatever the problems they may have had, the problem was probably intensified by "The Fish Bowl Effect."
Anyone who has ever been in ministry knows what I'm talking about. Suddenly, all eyes are upon you. Every move you make is scrutinized. I've heard of cases where pastors wouldn't buy new cars until they where relocating from one church to another because they didn't want to deal with raised eyebrows of ever watching parishioners. Pastor's wives crying because somebody made a remark about the way they dressed, or the clothes their children wore. You live in a fish bowl: Every part of your life is on display for all to see. In my own life, my business partner finds it hard to believe that I preach because he's heard me swear.
The good Pastor's family must be perfect. The kids must be totally behaved. The wife must be the perfect host, docile and serving.
Any problems in the family must be locked up behind closed doors, away from everyone. There can't be any hint of disunity. They must be totally holy and Godly. And if the Pastor was driven and controlling, who knows how far he may have went to keep everything and everyone in line. And a wife, who was a pastor's kid, who has probably lived under a microscope all of her life, may have felt there was only one way out.
I can only imagine the situation, but I have the feeling that I have imagined it well.
I just want to encourage people to remember that ministers, pastors, preachers and their families human beings. They have taken on a special task of being ministers the the Body of Christ. They are not super human: They struggle with the same issues everyone else struggles with, and often pick up part of the struggle for the people in their care. They deserve focused grace, mercy, prayer, and support.
As for Mary Winkler, I pray that the justice system will deal with her wisely. This is the best way I can pray to ensure that mercy and justice are given out.
Christianity, Current Affairs
Posted by Surly Dave on
Monday, March 27, 2006
