Surly's Soap Box

Depression Sucks.
The bummer, or paradox, or irony, or crappy thing about being a Christian and being a life long sufferer of depression is that as a Christian, I have access to the true source of Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control, (Gal 5:22-23) and still finding myself going through a "long, dark tea time of the soul". Then to confound things, I get angry with myself for being depressed, which leads to more...depression.

I have been depressed for close to a month now. My creative juices have dried up(hence the sparse and unentertaining posting) and God seems miles away, even though I know that He is never more than an arms length away, and yet...
I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

Lamentations 3:19-20

It goes on...

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:21-26


I know that there is nothing of this world that will truly fill the void. Booze? Nope. Drugs? Nope. Sex? Nope. Buying myself stuff? For awhile, but then I get my credit card bill and I'm depressed again. No, my hope is in Him, so I choose to wait upon His salvation. I'm not very good at the quiet part: I beg God for His deliverance, I cry out for His hand of Mercy to heal me. I stomp and throw fits. I demand. But where else am I going to go but to the Lord? He has never failed to save me, so I will trust Him.



Posted by Surly Dave on Sunday, November 12, 2006
Uncle Ben (mail) (www):
Surly, I'm sorry to hear this, but I do understand completely. Do you still have that "Filings" book that John gave to us back in August? I remember one of the chapters dealt with God seeming far away. Each of the chapters is a pleasure to read and they're pretty darn short to boot. Hope you feel the spark again soon. Love ya man, 'stache or no 'stache.
11.12.2006 10:36pm
NightWriter (mail) (www):
The difficult thing is that when "the spirit of heaviness" is upon you, it is hard to summon the will or spirit to resist. The conscious effort to "put on the garment of praise" (Isiah 61:3) has given me the traction I need. Praising Him - praying, singing, even dancing - takes my mind, will and emotions of of myself and puts it on Him, and what He has done, from creation to salvation and beyond, I know He has a plan for me, a plan for good and not ill, and to give me a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

In these times it is never clearer that we war not against flesh and blood, but spirits and principalities. (Eph. 6:12). We may think we war against our own flesh and shortcomings, but it is a spiritual attack, and our enemy knows us well, and what buttons to push. But we know, too, that our own weapons are not carnal (2 Cr 10:4), but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.

Meet the spiritual attack on the spiritual plane and pull down the stronghold by praising God, especially when it's the last thing in the world we feel like doing, and when the enemy is saying, in effect, "Curse God and die" (or beg, or demand). There is a time for reminding God of His word and His promises (reminding ourselves, mostly) but this is a time to "put on (choose) the garment of praise."

This can also remind you of your own "Ebenezer's" (see 1 Samuel 7:12), which means, "hitherto has the Lord always helped us." That builds your faith and your praise even more.

A small example.
11.12.2006 11:14pm
Night Writer (mail) (www):
Ben, thanks for the reminder.

Dave, the essays Ben referred to begin on page 48 and 51. I'd also highly recommend the prayers on pages 5-6. All these fit well with the link I left in my last comment.
11.12.2006 11:32pm
Surly Dave (mail) (www):
Part of my 'not going quietly' is praise, even in the darkest of times. I've got to follow the example of when Paul was tossed into prison and sang praise until the gate where broken down. Perhaps begging and demanding were the wrong words. Maybe imploring, along the line of Elijah praying for rain is a better fit.
11.13.2006 5:31am
Mark Van S (mail) (www):
Dave, I'm sorry to hear that you're depressed. And just in time for the holidays too!

If it will help, I'd be more than happy to treat you to a frothy pint somewhere.
11.13.2006 9:41am
kingdavid (www):
Now this is what I'm talking about. One of our brothers is under attack, and we're not gonna stand by and watch him get pummeled by the enemy. Just like King David had his 30 Mighty Men of arms, I'm looking to get 30 men registered on the Solid Rocks web site to stand together and do battle. If one of us is under attack, we're all under attack. The prayer network that we'll create is not only going to help us as individuals; but we're going to make an impact beyond what we can imagine. Prayerfully consider joining this site and get back to me. The site is www.solidrockmin.blogspot.com; get back to me at cesareks4@riversidecable.com if you feel led to join, I'll get off an invitation to log-on and start posting. In the meantime, we'll be standing in the gap along with you Dave and pray you through this time. I've been there, and I know someone prayed me through.
11.13.2006 2:22pm
Robert Perry (mail) (www):
Praying for you, dear brother. Hang in there!
11.14.2006 12:34pm

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