Surly's Soap Box

The Church I belong to has a tradition of having an open mic the Sunday before Thanksgiving to allow people to offer up praise reports, thanks givings and stuff like that. So I had a short message prepared to fill in for when you get those moments of uncomfortable silence.

When that time came, I shared a bit about a divine healing I about 10-12 years ago: First off, I have to let you know that I used to suffer from major depression. The kind of depression where you lay in bed for days and on occasion wonder just how many sleeping pills it would take.

Anyway, I was at a prayer meeting, and when the speaker invited people down to the alter for prayer, I went. Now, this guy had no idea that I had the trouble with depression that I did, but when he laid hands on me, he said that God was showing him that I had a congenital spine defect that was responsible for a life time of pain and depression and God wanted to heal me of it. I then felt the power of God flowing through my back. It was like a divine chiropractor. I walked out of that meeting a free man.

For about a year, I lived free from depression, but then it began to creep back into my life. I started having downer days. Nothing like what I had experienced before, but depression none the less. One thing I noticed is that it came on strong if I had sin in my life (as we all do, but sometimes we relish in it), or maybe a situation, a deja vu experience that would remind me of negative times from the past, or rejection or something like that.

A lot of times, the depression drove me to deeper intimacy with the Lord. Other times, I dug in deep into the Word. Sometimes, I would have to get honest and do some repenting.

But in this last battle with depression, none of the above worked. I prayed. I became incredibly introspective, turning over every rock. I read the Bible. I prayed some more, but nothing brought relief. I even went so far as to post on it.

Then, a couple things happened, by no means coincidence (coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous): I started paying more attention to the Armor of God (Eph 6:10-18), and I recieved a call from the Reverend Mother.

Both my study and her phone call placed emphasis on the ...sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. I realized that I needed to use the word of God as a weapon against the depression, and in particular, praise.

So I began deliberately praising God, proclaiming his greatness, awesomeness, power and strength. I declared who I was in Him. I sang, with purpose, hymns.

The depression lifted. And now I have another "arrow in my quiver" in battling the enemy. See, maybe "oppression" is the better word. There are times when I feel like I'm being suffocated or drowned, and that comes from the outside. It's like having a bird perched on your shoulder whispering "your worthless", "your stupid" all day long. That sounds like an attack from the enemy to me, and now I'm better prepared. I shared this with the church, and shared that this doesn't just apply to depression/oppression, but anxiety, lust, whatever someone may be suffering from. It's not a cure all, just another tool.

So...Blessings Everyone!